it sticks

Since becoming a military spouse I've seen it all.  I admit, it the beginning I sipped the Koolaid.  I was a newlywed of a few weeks living alone in the same apartment as always, with the same job as always, with the same friends as always, only now I had a ring on my finger and reasons to run to the mailbox.  For a brief moment I felt like I was a martyr and everyone should know the sacrifices I was making.  I had a few t-shirts and an "army wife" sticker on my car.  I did this knowing full well that once I left Rhode Island it would stop, in Rhode Island I was a pretty alone in being an active duty wife since there are no army posts close by.  (Navy base in Newport but like any good Rhode Islander I didn't drive more than 15 minutes for anything so I was never down there.) To be honest I also thought it might help if I got pulled over for speeding or something (I'm just being honest).  So here's what I had, a small army wife sticker over my break light and his unit sticker in the corner of the back window.  Oh, there was also the army seal close to the license plate but that he been there since my cousin deployed.

A few times I got honks on the highway by others who had similar stickers, one time in particular it was someone from Doc's unit which I thought was special since it's such a select few and only make up a tiny fraction of the army. 

From day one there were a few things that drove me nuts, being a military spouse is not the hardest job in the military and every time I see that I quietly judge that spouse and service member.  My husband's rank is just that, my husband's.  Granted, at that point he was an E3 so it's not like you go waiving that around but still.  

As that year progressed and I learned more about being an army wife I stopped wearing the t-shirts and started taking down the graphics on my MySpace page (don't judge, it was 2005!).  I started to realize I was getting lost in the shuffle.  When people asked him about me he was proud to tell them I was working in marketing for major manufacturers (I went from the US's largest locket manufacturer to the worlds second largest toy manufacturer that year) but I didn't see him plopping a Hasbro logo on his page.  When the time came for us to move to our first duty station together the stickers came off my car and were replaced my DOD Decals.  Boom, army wife.

In my 6 years in this life I've seen it all.  Cars with so many military related stickers that they can't possibly see out the back windshield to nothing at all.  I even saw a car with those custom white letters that read "Sgt Major's Wife" across the rear window.  How could he let that happen?  And yes I say "let" because what we do is a reflection on our soldiers especially if we are drawing attention to said soldier.  A few weeks ago I saw a car that took the cake.  One one side said "army wife, the hardest job in the army" (barf) and on the other said "army wife, what's your super power?".  Really?  Super power?  This life is no cake walk but give me a  break, it doesn't take super powers.  It takes a deep loving relationship and a level of selflessness.  I think anyone is capable of it if they want to try.

I'm not saying "no stickers ever" but I think a one or two tasteful stickers that celebrate your husband is fine but I hate those that put the spouse on a pedestal.  For the record, the back of my car is a bit of a road map of our journey.  There is a badge from the dealership where we bought the car that clearly states Fayetteville, NC (Ft. Bragg).  On the pained part of the trunk is a silver Red Sox "B" which also calls out where we originally came from (and also looks like it could have come on the car - I love it) and WA plates because that is were we are.  And I do have a sticker! (gasp) It is small and in the top middle of the rear window, it's the symbol that was used to identify Doc's unit back in WWII.  Just that, a shape with a number in it, if you don't know the unit then it would mean nothing to you.  So that's it, I show pride for my husband in a quiet way, I don't ask for praise for loving him and I don't think doing so gives me any type of superpower. 

I'm just a girl who loves a boy. 

What are your thoughts?  What do you have on your car and why?