dear doc

I love you to pieces, I really do.  Even when you are being deliberately annoying because you think it's funny or are using my legs to warm your cold feet.  You make me laugh on the reg and that has always been a requirement for anyone lucky enough to marry me. 

There is something that drives me nuts and I've made a decision that you're not going to like. 

I know that this big sectional looks like a great place to nap and in theory it is, however it's also located in the "hub" of our home.  This is where TC plays, Little A hangs out, my computer and the TV are so napping here isn't the best idea.  I know, I know your head hurts and you need to sleep.  I am not telling you that you can't nap, I'm all for it but from now on I'm no longer protecting you from the elements of this room. 

If I can see you then you are part of the day's activities.  I don't care if you're in a deep sleep - you're on the couch.  If one child is crying and the other needs a diaper change you are being woken up to help.  We have 2 kids and there are two of us, when they both need a bath we are both giving baths.  I know, it's hard - after all you did wake up every time Little A and I woke up last night...again I'm deeply sorry about that. 

We have a wonderful bed that is beyond comfotable and the best thing about it is that is resides at the back of the house behind a fully closing door.  If you feel the need to nap make it a real nap and go there.  This way I will know that you are unavailable - I'm on my own.  While it's more difficult it's not impossible, I do it all the time.  And it's a hell of a lot easier than doing it on my own while scowling at your back as you sleep on the couch. 

To summarize, if you sleep on the couch I will wake you up when you are needed, if you sleep in the bedroom you will be left alone, keep making me laugh but remember that I am not a foot warmer.

Love,
Your loving and patient wife

(and yes, I have actually told him too)