I've shared before that my stepmother seemed to make it her goal in life to keep me down and publicly humiliate me in such a way that no one could ever really call her out on bad parenting. I am so glad that facebook wasn't around when I was in high school. It's just too easy to post something in the heat of the moment, we were all teenagers we know teens don't have the best impulse control or a firm grip on true consequences to most actions.
If my high school friends saved the notes passed between classes I bet you would find something very similar to what this 15 (keep that in mind, 15) year old girl did. Did she lie to her God-knows-how-big friends list about her chores? Of course she did SHE'S 15! Was she acting like a total spoiled brat? Without a doubt but guess what Dad, one doesn't get spoiled on one's own. Perhaps you should have nipped this in the bud years ago.
What really gets me is the reach of this video. Not only did he post in on his daughter's facebook wall but it went viral. I am sure he had something to do with that too. Like I said, God knows how many "friends" she has that can see her wall but my younger nieces and nephews have around 500 friends each, I think you add everyone you go to school with at that age. 15 is such a hard time for a young girl, obviously this one wasn't in the best place when she vented. Posting this for everyone in her world to see, to me, is as bad as putting her on stage and taking her over your knee for all the world to see. I get that she put your family out there first but, do I really have to say it again? SHE'S 15 and venting while you took the time to set up a video, taker her laptop, retrieve and load your weapon and speak to your ex-wife about your plan.
Maybe I'm a softie but my heart breaks for her. Ground her, blow up her computer, make her do that entire chore list as she described it, whatever you need to do but keep in in the family. If you want her to learn how she should behave set an example.
Perhaps my problem is that I am not looking at this as a parent but I was that embarrassed, angry, confused 15 year old. I still carry those scars today. The way I was treated then led to behavior I am not necessarily proud of and would not want my daughters to repeat.
There is so much more I could get into with this video but we would be here all day.
How do you feel about this?
I was also surprised by the number of people who thought he is one of the world's greatest Dads.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree with you in that something needs to be done, I don't think that video-taping yourself is really making the point he was trying to get across (or maybe it was). I actually thought it seemed a little abusive/power-hungry to me and it bothered me and little bit.
Unfortunately we don't know what else has gone on in the household in order to judge whether or not it was an "appropriate" punishment. He does mention in the video that this is not the first time she has done something of the sort so she must not have gotten the message the first time she was punished.
ReplyDeleteWe don't know if he intended for it to go viral or if he just wanted to get "his side" of the story out. Some of the things that she said would be very hurtful to hear, especially the part about when he's too old to take care of himself. I understand the "she's only 15" aspect but at 15 I knew better than to bash my family publicly and to say things on the internet that would be there forever.
This type of punishment isn't good for everyone, and I don't think I would ever use it towards my kids, but you never know what is really going on in a household that may call for drastic measures.
I agree with you Amber! While I do think she was being a spoiled brat (and a typical 15 year old), I think he took it too far by posting that video on her facebook. If he wanted to shoot her laptop and make her buy a new one with her own money, that's cool. Grounding her is cool too. I just thought it was a little much to make an 8 minute long video going on and on about it (as the adult/parent, do you really need to prove your side of the story to a bunch of 15 year olds?).
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was also the whole "cyber bullying" thing and how kids at school are probably going to bust her balls now and make jokes about what her dad did. I totally agree that he should have punished her but I don't think he should have humiliated her. It should have all been done privately.
Also, as a parent, I really wish facebook didn't exist. Like you said, I'm so glad it wasn't around when I was in high school, but I don't want C to have an account! ugh
-Erin
P.S. I finally realized that I can just sign in with my gmail account so I can comment now!
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