When I was asked to do a guest post for SpouseBUZZ I was flattered - I am still amazed that I have such wonderful readers, mine is not one of those super blogs with thousands of followers and professional style photographs. I was excited to put my story out there because I know there are so many other wives just like me. Our husbands look normal form the outside, even talking to them you might not know but they aren't "normal". I hope that other families going through this know that they aren't alone. It's an important message to get out there, unfortunately TBIs aren't going away and men like Doc are the face of them.
After the excitement wore off the panic set in. One of the great things about having a blog like mine is that I feel like people stop by because they want to, they are invested in my story and they want to hear my story. I put myself out there and I've been lucky to have a safe place to do so. What was I thinking throwing myself in front of thousands of people who didn't ask for me? I had visions of "suck it up" comments and people just flat out hating me. I stared at a blank computer screen for a long time, paralyzed by this fear.
Doc was great, while I talk mostly about my life what I am sharing is his story. I asked for his permission, he not only gave it but also gave me a pep talk to get pen to paper. (I ended up going old school, actually writing was much less intimidating.) I asked him if he wanted to read it and, as always, he declined "that is your thing, I am going to let you have it". He gets it.
It took about 47 versions before I sent in my final draft to Amy, a managing editor at SpouseBUZZ, and she was so great. She explained the editing process and helped me better make the points I wanted to make. The hardest part was trying to get me and my voice and history into a manageable post that isn't 18 pages long. I was afraid that I would come off as ungrateful, whiny, or god knows what. I was just afraid. Amy did a great job of helping me on my way, the words were mine but some of the arrangement had performance enhancement. (Just getting it out there now so I don't end up confessing to Oprah in 10 years.)
The bottom line is that I am glad I did it, I stepped out of my comfort zone and it felt good! If you made your way over here from that post, I hope you stick around, introduce yourself!