2008 was a very good year

So it seems the "cool" thing to do when a year comes to an end is a top 10 list. Never one to be uncool here is mine:

The Top 10 Moments of 2008

10. Starting my blog, I had no idea at the time that I would find so much comfort in it.

9. Turning the "disaster room" into a room that is suitable for guests and my work out equipment!
8. Getting back in shape while DH was away...unfortunately when he came back I fell out of my routine but I think this next time I will be better prepared!

7. Starting my new job, when I left the nonprofit I wasn't sure what I would find but I had my choice of jobs and while this one doesn't pay well and can be very frustrating I have met some good people here and accomplished all the goals set for me.

6. When I came to peace with the fact that my family isn't what it used to and it is OK to grieve that as long as I learn to appreciate them for who they are now.

5. Having my friends come to visit! One was a good friend that I have known online for about 2.5 years that I had never met in person and the other was an old college roommate. It was so amazing to have them with me when I needed them most! I love you guys!!

My old roommate and me , it's pretty obvious where we are haha (but shhhhhh)

"Wife of a Wounded Soldier" Cheryl and me at the piano bar.

4. DH reenlisting, having that security is fantastic, and knowing that despite all the BS he loves what he does

3. Paying off our credit cards! I never thought we could do it but we did. It's like a huge weight has been lifted.

2. The day before DH came home. I was able to look around the house and at my own body and see what I was capable of when left to mine own devices. Yes, it was really hard and there were a few days that I hid from the world but all in all I think I did a pretty good job!

1. This one is obvious...DH coming home from deployment! That moment I saw him get off the bus and our eyes met and he got the biggest smile I have ever seen. It is a moment like no other. I will hold on to that picture in my head forever and I know it is going to help me get through 2009 because it's looking like it's going to be a hard year.

OK 2009, I'm not sure if I'm ready for you but I am going to try my hardest!

update....

...so we got word, no training. He will be heading out with the guys on the next rotation. Then hopefully he will be sent to training as soon as he gets back, then he will be back for a little bit then back out for deployment around the holidays next year.

Obviously it's all subject to change but he was told that he will go to this training this year so they better send him! That being said, I am not looking forward to spending the majority of 2009 all alone.

simple gifts

I don't know much about Shakers, OK I don't know anything about them except for one song.
(If it hasn't yet Music will start to play - just scroll down to turn it off if you wish)

Growing up my father loved NPR, it was on in his truck at all times but on Saturday afternoons it was on in the house, much to the dismay of everyone else :). If you've never listened to NPR on a Saturday afternoon you are missing out on all sorts musical gems (now that I am old enough to appreciate them, at the time I wanted to rip my ears off!), Saturdays were folk music days. All sorts of folk music from Peter Paul and Mary to some dude playing the spoons. For my father it was heaven. There are a few songs that have stayed with me and one of them is "Simple Gifts." It is an old Shaker song written in the 1800's by Joseph Brackett. The tune was just so pretty (you may know it from Lord of the Dance) and the words were, well, simple.

Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,

'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come round right.

For some reason I have been hearing this over the past week. Every time I do I ask my husband if he remembers where he's heard it (as a surprise to my family this is the song I walked "down the aisle" to in honor of my father) silly me to think a boy would remember that! But a big part of me thinks that hearing this tune twice within a week of our wedding anniversary is my father's way of letting me know that he's proud and happy that everything is working out better than DH and I could have imagined.

It may sound far fetched but this is not the only time he's used music to reassure me. He loved Jonathan Edwards (the singer from the 70's not the fraud who talks to dead people) and would sing "Sunshine" off key all the time. It's not really a song you hear on the radio....ever but on 3 different occasions when I was having a really bad day the year after he died that song would come on the radio and make me feel better. Such a fitting way for a man who loved music to let me know that he's always with me.

In army news, we will not know until about 2 weeks before deployment is DH is going or if he is finally going to the training that he has been promised for the past year...He needs to pass a super hard PT test made harder because he's been practicing his push ups so much that he has tendinitis in his shoulders. Please pray that he has recovered enough to pass and head to the training. It's not that I don't want him to deploy - that is his job and should go whenever needed but this training would mean good things for our family.

I don't want to go...

Please don't make me go back to work tomorrow! We've been having such a good time together these last few days. I can't believe the year is almost over...we are SO CLOSE to him leaving again, can't we just pause time for a bit?

26 dec

Today has been a significant day in my life for 8 years now. The events of this day through out the years have changed my life dramatically.

26 Dec 2000, my father's first chemo appointment. He was diagnosed about a month earlier but they needed the time to figure out a game plan and let him enjoy what turned out to be his last Christmas. Every year for the next 4 years I would have a very hard time on this day.

26 Dec 2005, this is the exact opposite to 2000 - this was the happiest day of my life to date. This is the day I went from Ms. P. to Mrs. S!
Here we are 3 years later and happier than ever. It's a good feeling because everyone I knew thought I was crazy to marry a guy I had only known for 4 months and who was in the army! But I knew this was it. In all of the 25 years before I knew him I was never more happy than when I was in his arms. And had 26 December 2000 not have happened 26 Dec 2005 would have just been another day - that I am sure of.

26 Dec 2006, DH and I FINALLY moved in together! Yup a full year after we were married. After the wedding it was back to BCT for him then off to AIT and Jump and lots of other training. We didn't even think that we would be able to live together this soon but when he got to his final school the denied him a room in the barracks and told him I would have to join him. He got that news the week before thanksgiving, we moved him into our apartment the day after Thanksgiving while I was home the next month setting up the move with the Navy base in Newport and working my last few weeks. That Christmas Eve was bitter sweet, I said goodbye to my family that night. We spent Christmas with his family then headed home to pack up a few things. The morning of the 26th 2 men came in and packed up my life and when everything was on the truck DH and I jumped in my old Honda and drove 14 hours to our new place.
This is how we lived for 3 weeks waiting for our household goods to be delivered!

Today and last year it has been just a low key day. I think the 26th will always be the day I take down the tree and reclaim my living room!

Oh and in case you were wondering, on this day in 2005 I didn't think about the days events 5 years earlier even once.

Life is good and I tell ya, DH and I are living the good life.

Christmas Eve

This was always the "big show" growing up. There would be so many people at our house over the course of the night. You could hear laughs in every room. I loved it. After I met DH Christmas Eve shifted to his family home, it was a welcomed change as Christmas Eve had drastically changed for me.

In 2005, our first Christmas together, it was hard. It was the first Christmas since his sister died and while everyone at the house was having a good time you could help but feel that someone was missing. I never met her but I do miss her. Along with that there was a lot of joy as well. His young cousins were running around excited for Santa and all the talk was focused on the 2 weddings in the next week. DH and I were married on Monday, Dec 26 and his cousin was married 5 days later on New Year's Eve. It was an exciting time.

It's 5:15 EST which means that Pop is on his way to Quans Kitchen to get the spread of Chinese food (they will be eating leftovers for days) and the family has started to arrive at the house. I so wish we were there. (DH did remind me that I will be there next year but he will be "away.") Our Christmas Eve looks pretty nice too, I was finally able to get my hands on some duraflame logs! We have a nice gift basket from my stepmother and plenty of "spirits" to put us in the spirit.

I am enjoying this time, even if he is playing xbox with his boyfriend next year he will be away and the year after that, who knows...odds are that I will be pregnant or we will already have a baby! It's insane how quickly life can change on you!

And finally, I don't know his name but a older man slipped on some ice coming out of the store today, he landed chest first on the hood of a car. I saw it happen but couldn't get out of my car fast enough. I was able to help him up but he seemed to be in a lot of pain. Please keep him in your prayers that he didn't crack any ribs or anything more serious.

My dad and stepmother on his last Christmas Eve. Behind them you can see the advent calendar I was talking about.

a family tradition

Throughout the years our family hasn't lacked for traditions. We may have been an "nontraditional" family in our blood lines but that's it. (the quick story on that, I have 3 sisters - 2 of them are my "half sisters" and they both have different fathers so D and I are the only 2 "full sisters and F moved in with my mother when I was very young and Dad raised M like she was his own...then I have 2 stepbrothers, one, J is 6 months younger than me and the other, R is 10 days younger than D...imagine trying to explain this to your friends in elementary school!). I love my family, I do a lot of complaining about D but she's still my best friend and we would do anything for each other.
This is the earliest Christmas picture I found of all 6 of us. I don't know what year this is but I am guessing from the dresses it's like 84 or 85. My dad was a photographer so a family picture was always something we did. Some others that we did every year:

- Daddy would read "Twas the night before Christmas" on Christmas eve after church and before bed (until about 1996 when we were to cool and made fun of it)
- We had an advent calendar that was a shape of a Christmas tree and the days were counted with ornaments and each one had a bible story behind it, Daddy would always put the star up as the last piece in Christmas Eve
- We watch A Christmas Story a few times every year
- My brothers would get cap guns in their stockings and my parents would get up when the guns started, as we got older we started making them coffee too.
- We would get to open one gift on Christmas eve and it was always pajamas.
- Opening gifts on Christmas morning was easy, we would each have our own pile and we would all open one at the same time - they were sure to get us the same amount.
- Breakfast on Christmas morning was always Dough Boys (fried dough) my dad would make them every year.

Obviously a lot changed after April 2001, when my dad died Christmas kind of died for me too. It is still very hard for all of us, I am sure that once I have kids of our own and resurrect some of these traditions and create our own I will get that Christmas spark back. I just wish my kids could have met him. He was the most amazing story teller I have ever met, he was St. Nick. He would go around to the Episcopal churches in the area and tell the story of St. Nick and pass out "gold" (chocolate) coins.
I am excited for Christmas this year, DH and I will exchange stockings and hang out all day. I am making dough boys for breakfast...it's going to be nice.

Life throws you curve balls and not everything turns out the way you had planned but all you can do is take the gifts you've been given (for me it's all the wonderful memories of my childhood) and live life the best you can.
This is Christmas 2003, my brothers and sisters (minus F.) and my paternal grandmother. This is the last Christmas we spent in the house my dad bought for the family, it was also the last time all 5 of us have been together on Christmas. R was a marine at the time and has since settled in CA with his wife and kids, I am far away doing the army wife thing and the others are all back east trying to figure out how you combine your old family with your new one.

We may not have been all born into a family together but were bless to have God put us together as one.

santa?

As I've said before we did not have much growing up but we never knew it. We had a house over our heads and food on the table, some times it was a 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread situation (Matthew 14:17) because somehow we always had enough. And while we may not have had the latest toys or new clothes we always had love and that was really all we needed.

I can't imagine the stress that came along with Christmas time, the year I got my Cabbage Patch Kid my dad and stepmother sold their class rings. Gifts for 5 kids is a tall order.

This one particular Christmas that I am thinking about, I think it was before my dad married my stepmother so I had to be about 5. It was Christmas Eve and my sisters and I were all in our beds when we heard a commotion going on downstairs. We all snuck out of our beds and tiptoed down the stairs and into the hallway outside of the family room.

There he was.

Red suit, white beard, big belly, sack full of toys!!! If I was 5 then D. was 6 and M. was 7...Dad must have let F. in on the scam because she was 9 or 10. Anyway, we silently freaked out. We knew that if he saw us then he would pack it up and leave us with NOTHING! We decided that the old sleepwalk move was our best bet so we all walked up to our beds with eyes closed and arms in front of us (like zombies because that is how kids thing sleepwalkers walk!).

The next day we couldn't wait to tell Daddy that we saw Santa! It was so cool, and my dad and uncle listened to us go on about how we knew he was real and how amazing it was and they were just eating it up.

Years later Dad let us know that he called his buddy with a Santa suit to come over and be "seen". I don't remember one gift I got that year but the memory of "Santa" is still one that makes me smile. My dad sure knew how to make his little girls happy on Christmas.

snow day!

Well not like we had anything to do today anyway but still it's fun to spend the day in a nice warm "house" (OK it's really an apartment but whatever) while the snow comes down outside. And again, the pup had an amazing time playing in it. We didn't lose power last night so that was good but I wish we had parked DH's car under a weak tree...we would love to get rid of th at thing!

Today was football day, the Patriots had the national game so we were able to watch it in HD and they really killed the Cards the the Seahawks beat the Jets so as long as the Jets beat the Dolphins next week we are in!

I also had a little "me" time today which was really nice, I took the pup for a nice long walk in the snow and had a blast - this the girl who hates snow! Being out there while it was coming down with the cold air...I really felt alive. And the smell of the air when it's snowing, it reminds me of home. Here are some pics from our snow day:

He's just a few weeks over 2 years but he's finally starting to grow up, he's now "marking" which is something he's never really cared to do before. I guess I should stop calling him a pup since he's coming into "manhood" now.

Self take in the snow!

I think this week I will post some of my favorite Christmas memories growing up - tell you more about the man who had a big part in who I am today. My dad was Mr Christmas! It wont be sad I promise, I have a feeling he reads this and I like him to know that I am OK. :)

power please stay on!

I am such a worrier, I get anxiety over the stupidest things (I have the pills to prove it!) I don't know if I have been living under a rock or what but I was surprised when I took the pup out and it was snowing! We made a quick trip to the market doe some bread, milk, and Band of Brothers on Blue Ray - unfortunately they were out of duraflame logs so if power goes out we will have to bundle up. Now I am freaking out because what if we do lose power? Grrrr this is what I get for not watching the news but I am not going back out on those roads. Well, we have our cardboard to-be-recycled pile if need be...(oh plus how will we watch football tomorrow without power?)

Yesterday was the Christmas party at work, my friends and I decided the only way it would be fun is if we wore ugly Christmas sweaters...

It was a nice little party but I would have liked it better if DH was invited.

snow!

I hate the stuff. I hate driving in it, I hate it on my car, I hate it being tracked through my house, I just don't like it. We really don't get much of it where we live but when it comes - forget it! Stay off the roads! There are 2 reasons for this, first there are like 7 plows in the whole county and second, people here just don't know how to react.

I am a proud New Englander and I was taught to drive in snow, so I pride myself on my ability to do it. That being said, if you are behind me you will not be happy, I drive what the road allows and not what ever I feel like! If you respect the snow you will not have a problem - if you feel the need to fly past me I will feel the need to wave at you while you try to get your car back on the road! I think DH and I are going to stay home all weekend where it's safe!

One good things about the snow is that the pup LOVED it. He didn't quite know what to make of it at first but he loved jumping around in it.

what a dork!

So DH would kill me if he knew I was blogging about this but the way I see it I really don't have a choice, it's to delicious to keep to myself. I am sure that I have mentioned that DH plays more xBox that a 12 year old boy, it's rather annoying but since he's so darn cute I deal with it. For the past few months his game has been some hockey game that "is so cool because you can play with a lot of different people all at the same time and you each play your own position..." or something like that. He loves it, he's always on the Bruins and it's like at childhood dream come true for the guy.

This is where it gets good.

He started playing with a group of brothers who are spread out over the east coast, they are all in the medical field as well so they had that in common but apparently they were not up to DH's skill level so he went looking for new teammates. This is when DH met the person I now refer to as his "boyfriend in Florida." I guess this guy is from Massachusetts too and lives in FL with his wife. They (DH and him) are in L.O.V.E. Well they started their own team and have been doing really well and since DH is a nice guy he let his other friends play on the team and gave them GM rights so they can change jerseys and things like that if they want. On the weekends DH and his boyfriend will play for HOURS at a time, on Saturday they are usually drinking as well...together but apart how sweet...and they got the team into division 5 out of like 40 or so with all the other loser hockey players out there. Well, his original teammates stole his team! They went in with the GM password and cut DH and his boyfriend and changed the password!

Grown men did this. Doctors did this. Think about that at your next visit - he could he that guy who sunk so low as to take someones FAKE hockey team from them.

Needless to say, DH is not very happy but I think it is one of the funniest things to happen all year. I have so many army wife friends that I know from MySpace and places like that and every now and then there is online drama. DH never wants to hear about it because he thinks that it's dumb that I have friends that I have never met and I shouldn't care what they say...now he knows what I was dealing with!

I love it.

Oh but the funniest part is that he put an ad out on the xBox message boards looking for a teammate - now who's the loser with virtual friends? Life is good.

who is mrs. s? why I wear the "mask"

Yes, every one's favorite kind of blog - the self important one (and even better I wrote my title in the third person - wow even I want to punch me!). Anyway, I know that I have, over the past 10 months or so, given away little tid bits like where I'm from, what I do, I've even posted some pictures oh myself, DH, the pup. So obviously I am not too much of a mystery - I live 3000 miles from home, west coast - 14 degrees out, obviously not southern CA...with little army knowledge it's fairly obvious where we are stationed. Yet I wont come out and say it. I wont come out and say who DH works for either. I am very careful to follow OPSEC (Operational Security) rules, I never give dates, locations, missions...any of that. DH, as I've said, is special operations and me even having a blog where I talk about any of our army life is frowned upon by his higher ups. I really don't care about that! I know what I am saying and what I am doing and I am in no way putting DH or his friends in danger but in order to cover my butt with it all, I pretend that no one knows who I am!

Now the other reason is I like to keep this from my family. I like to have a nice place where I can come and just vent about them. I love and miss them so much but sometimes I thank God that I am 3000 miles away from the drama and questions! Maybe one day I will let them know that I have this but I doubt it. I have given this out to a few of my friends, Wife of a Wounded Soldier is one of my closest friends and we keep up on each others blogs. Also, my friend Erin who sadly just left myspace will hopefully be checking in here soon! I am sure as time goes on I will let others in on my secrete blog life as well...we shall see.

Basically I am just testing the waters I guess - how much do I feel comfortable sharing with whoever feels like reading? I do love having a place to just record my thoughts and some of the goings on in my life and I think it's really cool that other people are interested in it as well!

I am going to add an email address on my page, in case someone wants to contact me. I love comments but I hate that you can't respond to them directly!

baby it's cold outside....

My goodness, who turned the heat off?? I thought that the trade off for me living in this crappy part of the country was that we don't really get as cold as New England. When I took the dog out this morning it was 14 degrees! 14!! That is just not acceptable. OK, I suppose I have to accept it because I don't think complaining will make a big of difference. The dog was not too impressed either, he's not a fan of the cold at all. It does seem that the weather is all anyone wants to talk about today, for me it was a non issue - we didn't get any snow, no ice, a little wind but that's pretty much it.

In other non-news today is the last day for ground shipping on the website at work, if people want their orders by Dec 24th they will have to be shipped express - all this really means for me is that work is really going to start slowing down. I love being busy, makes the days go by so much faster! My job is very strange, we sell chocolate and along with web marketing I take phone orders from people who are still afraid to use a computer...one woman today went on with me about menstruation cycles and when it's best for women to eat chocolate. Seriously lady? That is what you talk to a complete stranger about? I guess I sound to friendly on the phone or something. I have to call AAA later to renew my sister in law's membership, perhaps I will talk to that sales rep about kidney stones...

On final note, I got my gifts off to New England today so all that I have left is to renew that membership and fill DH's stocking and I am D.O.N.E.! Woo hoo! I am sure DH and I will pick up a few things for the critters but once I start counting them on my shopping list I will think that I have finally lost it.

fun with balls

Christmas tree balls that is! Last month I signed DH and me up for "Heroes at Home" with Sears, they are helping military families out this Christmas. They sent us a gift card with $100 on it and on Dec 26th they will take the rest of the donations made and add more money. I am not usually one to take things like this, we have a lot of bills (because I was dumb and went to a private college which cost more than my parents even made a year!) but we get by but I figured what they hell - the people making donations want to made life a little easier for a military family and that is what we are. Well, not only did we get the gift card but we also got $100 to spend on 'trim a tree" stuff at K-Mart and Sears! So cool! So I went to K-Mart tonight and a few things and spent NO MONEY! Anyway, here are my new decorations.






But the big news is...DH (do you all know what that stands for? Dear Husband if you didn't) let me pick either the dining room I've been wanting for MONTHS...or a new mattress. Well since I haven't slept through the night in about 8 weeks I decided that the mattress is the best option. It comes tomorrow!!! I must say that I loved the guy who helped us at sleep country, he was amazing. He knew we were on a budget and well $1500 for a mattress set is A LOT of money, I asked if we found the same set on post (the Army doesn't have "Bases" we have posts) would they repay the tax as part of their price match. Well he deiced to pay the tax for us but to also throw in all sorts of crap for nothing! I know that a few of my readers live in the same area as me so if you want to know where you can get a great mattress from a great guy let me know. ;)

As for right now I am still waiting for the storm to hit...my mom called from Kentucky to worn me about it and I told here that I would be fine but please pray for my family in New England, some are without power - it's just a bad situation up there!

I'm glad he realized the 52" is just to much!

So DH got his reenlistment bonus, the first thing I did was wipe out or credit card debt. It wasn't much but compared to some people but it was enough to drive me crazy. We are now a cash only family and we will stick to our guns about the whole "emergencies only" policy (which will be a lot easier now that DH has shown some interest in our finances and how it all works). The first thing DH did was head to Circuit City...this was OK, he is the one playing soldier for 5 more years so he can get a new TV if he wants.

He has been talking about getting a 52" LCD TV for our living room, our current 37" LCD is apparently not good enough. I have been telling him that 52" is just more TV than we need or have room for. It wasn't until he got an email from Best Buy with an offer for a 46" TV, Blue Ray player and surround sound for $2,000 did he realize that we could work it out to get all of those things for the prices of one 52" TV. Well the deal at Best Buy was sold out and that is why we ended up at Circuit City and I am so glad we did! DH usually likes to bring me along for large purchases because I ask the questions and I do the haggling but I think those days are over, wait until you see what DH brought home... (oh and these products are better quality than what Best Buy was offering, yay!)



He got all of this and 3 HDMI cables for about the original price of the TV! And now that everything is on HDMI we only have 3 wires going into the TV!!!! That is a huge improvement from this! Oh and the Blue Ray player...he picked up Stepbrothers last night (hysterical, crass but hysterical) and for the first half of the movie I couldn't concentrate because I was so distracted but how amazing it looked!

And I thought our old system was just fine, boy was I wrong! Now I just need to learn how to turn it all on...

how dare work interfere with my blogging!

I know I have been a bad blogger and since DH says I am the queen of excuses (I prefer to call them reasons...)I should give one to you - work has been crazy! Don't tell my boss but I do the majority of my blogging in between running reports and creating emails. On December 1st, otherwise known as "Cyber Monday" as it was the first Monday after black Friday we launched a free shipping offer email and the orders have just been pouring in...and I LOVE it! I don't know if I want to stay at this job for much longer but I am getting a lot of experience in web marketing and I have a new goal - I want to take web design classes so not only will I be able to market a site but I will be able to create it from scratch! I will see if I can coordinate a class with DH's schedule so I can do it while he's gone.

Oh I don't think I updated this - DH reenlisted last week! I think it was the best decision for our family so I wont have to change the name of my blog to "former army wife" for at least another 5 years. We are both feeling pretty good about it, my family is being a little weird. It's like my sister thinks that this life is like a punishment or something, I like being an army wife. I don't like sending my husband to war but I do like that he does something that he not only loves but that makes a difference. This is the only life we have knows as a married couple and I don't think I would change one thing about it right now. Oh well - my sister wanted us to move home and "be poor for a little while" because it would seem to her that we are only in it for the money which begs the question - WHAT MONEY? haha

december already

I love December! It is one of my favorite months, people seem to have an extra bounce in their step. And obviously I LOVE Christmas. But there is another important day in December, DH's and my wedding anniversary. We had to squeeze it in while he was home from Basic Training for Christmas. It's actually kind of a fun story...

...DH and I met in late August and spent a lot of time chatting on IM before we spent any real time together. It was a great way to get to know him, when you are not sitting face to face with someone it is a lot easier to say what you really want - there were no games. He first brought up the idea of the military in September - he was just throwing ideas around so I didn't really think much of it. When he started talking to recruiters is when I started to get nervous.

He did all of his testing and scored very well, he had his pick of jobs. I still wasn't sure that I was cut out for this, the guy I had been dating for less than 3 months was leaving for at least 4 years. If we were going to stay together we would be getting married. I let him know that I would be here waiting for him no matter how long he was away.

I was there when his recruiter picked him up and took him away.

He had only been gone for about 3 weeks when we both realized that this was what we wanted. We didn't want to have to spend any more time apart than necessary. One Sunday on one of his brief phone calls he said, "When I come home for Christmas I think we should just get married." I was kind of blindsided and really wanted to talk about it more but he had to get off the phone! Great. So I walked into the living room and told my sister "I think I'm getting married..." I knew he would call on thanksgiving and I would be able to make sure that he meant what he said.

Thanksgiving came 4 days later and we decided that yes, we were getting married while he was home and I was to plan it all...The planning was easy we both wanted the same thing, a very small low key wedding. 4 weeks later DH was home and we were married surrounded by 34 of our closest friends and family.

I know some people thought we were nuts for moving so quickly but when you know you know. We are about to celebrate another year together and in the past 3 years there has not been one day when I think we made a mistake. He is the man God created just for me and I am so glad I found him when I did.

did you see what I did?

I posted every day this month. Now I go the idea from this fun blog but I didn't sign up just because I wasn't sure if I could do it. But now it's 8PM on the 30th day and DH is making me go to bed with him...hello not everyone needs to be up at 3am!! But it's OK, he will fall asleep in time for me to watch Britney on MTV. I am really rooting for that girl...I know I am a loser but that's OK. I don't think I will be posting every day but more often for sure. I hope I was able to entertain you with a small glimpse into my crazy life!

Oh and pray that DH can sign those reenlistment papers tomorrow, I want this thing locked in!

i got a new toy!

Right now I am playing with PSE on my mac, I love it! Maybe I will make something cool someday (there is a lot to learn). That's pretty much it, today has been a lazy day right now DH is playing xbox and I am playing with my pictures (him with a jack and coke and me with a margarita - yum!).

We woke up this morning and the dog figured out how to get his sweater off! Little stinker.

i can't believe DH agreed to this...

The dog is always cold so I suggested that we get him a sweater. I am not one to dress a dog for no reason but I really thought he would appreciate the extra warmth. Well he doesn't hate it. DH only agreed that I could buy it because he was sure the dog would go nuts and try to get it off...haha sucker!

I am sure that as soon as DH has to take him outside that thing will come right off!

so much to be thankful for

I am not going to list it all but most of all I am thankful for to have a husband who loves me so much he was willing to give up a dream so he wouldn't have to spend a moment away from me. I am thankful to have food on my table every day and a roof over my head every night. I am thankful for a family back home who loves me and supports our decisions. I am thankful for my furbabies, even if I did have to lock the cat in the bedroom so she wouldn't eat our desserts and the dog left giblets all over the carpet...

Today was perfect (up until a few hours ago when I get sick!) Take a look at what I did:

I told you, it was tiny!

Well this and my friend brought her amazing sweet potatoes! Oh and I made a few pies!

Everything was perfect, well DH said the cranberries tasted like potpourri but he's never liked cranberries anyway!

It was an amazing day and after a 2 hour nap I'm feeling better...I think I will go try some of that pie....

pooped!

I can not wait to relax tomorrow! This week has been none stop! Monday night I made lemon bars for today's work lunch, last night I made my apple pie, tonight I made the pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce. My friend is bringing the sweet potatoes tomorrow so all I have to do is cook the turkey and make some mashed! I know, not many sides but there are only 3 of us so it should be OK.

I love Thanksgiving...I do miss spending it with the family but I appreciate DH not telling me that I am going overboard for 3 people - it's kind of a silent understanding.

Woo-hooo 4 day weekend!

prayers please

It's nothing major and I really can't get into it here but if you could spare a few my husband and I could use a few prayers. I think it is decided that we are going to stay in the army for an additional three years which I can't say I am overly excited about but it gives us time to set up a life outside of all this. I miss him terribly when he is away but we do get to repeat something that most married couples only have once in a lifetime - a first kiss. After each long separation (I am talking months here) and we see each other for the first time...we get the butterflies and the wonder of what it's going to be like - it's amazing. Anyway, I am fairly certain we are staying in.

Now we have to decided what to do. Do we stay here 3000 miles from home in a place that we don't love but have built a life in or do we uproot again and head to a location on the east coast? And if we do what job does he want to take when he gets there. He has so many things to think about and I know he would love me to make all the decisions for him but I can't. I need him to do what will be best for HIM. I will adapt no matter what, he's the one who will really be dealing with it day in and day out. Please pray that this decision becomes clear to him, that he can be confident when signing those reenlistment papers when that day comes. Please pray that he continues to stay safe and that through all of this our marriage continues to grow in strength and love. These are trying times and we are lucky that we can hold together while others seem to fall apart.

finally!

My new camera came today! I am so excited, I am the type of girl who needs to have that thing with me at all times - you never know when you will see something picture-worthy! Luckily my cell has a pretty kick ass camera so I haven't missed anything major but it's just nice knowing that I will be ready for th at picture perfect moment.

SO the goal is for this one to last more than 4 months - this is the 3rd camera in less than a year, one the dog ate and one was dropped...perhaps I should have picked up a fisher price camera for 7 year olds...

better late than never

I know I was going to write about why I think DH staying in the army is the best decision for us today but I've decided that I really don't need to give my reasons. I've talked to him and he tends to agree so we will just see what happens.

Today there is other news to report. Exactly one month before I met DH his sister died of cancer. She had it and beat in in high school but it came back when she was 20. When they found it she was pregnant with her long time boyfriend's baby. This time though, it was moving much faster than when she first was diagnosed. From what I have been told they waited as long as they could to try any treatments - they had to wait until it was safe to deliver the baby. So after the baby was born she had surgery to try to remove the tumor. There really wasn't much they could do. So they made her as comfortable as possible and eventually she and the baby were released. Sometime in between the diagnosis and them going home she and her boyfriend broke up. At this point DH was living on the west coast and so he moved home (with his grandparents where his sisters were living as well). I've been told that the father came to visit the baby a few times, brought his new girlfriend too. He didn't bother going into the other room to see DH's sister though.

When she died in July they made a mistake in not calling the baby's father to let him know. They weren't sure just what he would do. He lives a few hours north but eventually word made it to him and he shower up at the house in the middle of the night and demanded his daughter. That was the last time the saw her until February of this year.

For the previous 2 years our family has been fighting to serve him with papers, we have rights too - my father in law has grandparent's rights - just because her mother died it doesn't mean that we don't love her. But he managed avoid getting served and when he was he would just skip court. It was a nightmare but we never gave up. Last winter they were finally in court and the baby's father was yelling that he didn't want us to try to take the baby away, that was never our intentions. (I know DH would love for us to raise her but I am not about to take a happy and healthy 3 year old from the only home she knows.) All we want is to be part of her life. DH's father was able to explain this to the judge and he ordered that an agreement be reached so the baby's father and my father in law agreed to mediation. The baby's father never showed up - not once. But that day the baby's paternal grandparents invited my inlaws to their home to see the baby. It was amazing but it was the only visit they had - until today.

Earlier this week my sister in law got a phone call, it was the baby (well she's three and a half right now) I guess the paternal grandparents now have custody and they invited my sister in law and father in law up for a visit. It's not over, we need these visits to be guaranteed and these people have also said that they don't want us to take the baby out of state but the families live in different states...There is still a lot to work out but today they were reunited and the baby looked so happy in the pictures my sister in law sent. I just pray that things continue this way, I really hope that she can be part of our lives.

I also wish that DH would talk about it, he wont even look at the pictures - it hurts too much. He had quite the bond with that baby.

me play xBox?

I know...it is not something I would ever think I would do (well other than DDR, Guitar Hero and Rockband of course). Well I am getting ahead of myself...I need to start at the beginning!

DH's flight was scheduled to land at 11:50 last night which is already super late for me to be up never mind driving. I prepared, I went out after work and ran some errands and loaded up on the caffeine. Then I get the call, delayed one hour! Ugh, 1AM! So I tossed Sex and the City in the DVD player and made it. I got to the airport and he gets in the car and he STINKS! Homeboy had been drinking all day - that's what they get for making him sit in airports for 12 hours. At least he is a happy drunk and coherent. Anyway, drunkey and I start heading home and we are talking about all our options both in and out of the army and surprisingly we had a good conversation. I have many reason why I think he should stay in...perhaps tomorrow's blog...anyway, we are chatting so I missed my exit and me thinking I know what I am doing get off a few miles down at what I think is my work exit...long story, well still kind of long...we drove in a 15 mile circle around our town! We got home at 2.

The DH had to say hi to the dog (who was very excited to see him) then he had to download some new xbox platform thing to his console so all in all it was 3 before final lights out.

For some reason I was up at 7AM. DH was up because he was jet lagged but I have no excuse. Oh and I forgot to mention that today is the day I am starting to ween myself off caffeine...not a good combo. OK back to the xbox, this this new platform there are all new download options. DH downloaded some game where I am a giant and I am helping people build a town...it's pretty cool. I am not good at working the controller (growing up it was a joystick or a 4 button Nintendo controller) but I think I am getting the hang of it. So after a few naps today I think I am all refreshed and ready to fight with DH over control of the xbox - he's going to hate that I like that game...

I did something bad...

I will tell you but you have to understand that I fully intend on making it right in a few weeks I just couldn't wait. As you know DH is out of town right now and it gets really lonely here at night and you find yourself doing things you never thought you would do. Well, that's what happened.....I've heard the new Britney CD. (what did you think I was talking about?)

I am not going to tell you how I got it or anything like that (I take the fifth) but I must tell you that I LOVE it! I think "If U Seek Amy" is my favorite. I have no patience and I know it will be out in 10 days and when it comes out I WILL buy it but I couldn't sit back and do nothing knowing that it was just a few clicks away.

So you've heard it here - Circus gets 2 thumbs up from Mrs. S so if you can wait it's on sale Dec. 2 if you can't wait...well you're on your own but I hope you eventually pay for it!

where have all the "thank yous" gone?

Can someone please teach my sister some manners? Since she doesn't have any my nephews are growing up with none. I pretty much had to track her down to make sure the boys' Christmas gifts got there and when I asked that they call and say thank you after they get them her simple response was "I try."

Well you don't try. I try to stretch my budget every year to be sure that all the kids in the family get something - it's not easy, I am making a lot less money then I ever have. I enjoy giving them gifts but I don't have to.

This really begs the question, if Mom is void of manners when does it become the responsibility of the child? The older one is 9 so he's about the age where he should know that when someone gives you a gift you say thank you. The younger is 7 so I don't think he's quite there yet. I will give it a few years but one day I may become one of those aunts who doesn't give gifts if she feels they are not appreciated.

the keeper of the heat

I was enjoying my nice and quite time at home with just the critters but it's the middle of the week and I want him home. I'll admit it, I would gladly give u p my nice clean house to have someone here to laugh with me when I caught the cat eating the dog food! That plus...shhhhhhh don't tell....but I have the heat on!

DH likes to come home from work throw on some itty bitty shorts and a t-shirt and crank up the heat. I guess I take after my father but if it's 50 outside the heat should NOT be on. I'm a bundle up and get a blanket kind of girl. Growing up my father had a rule - the heat NEVER goes on before November. We could have a snowstorm in October but you would need to wear your snowsuit in the house because, well, it wasn't November. Also, the thermostat was set at 67 and for bed it went to 60. I swear that man had a camera on that thing because he always knew if you went near it. Then there was the one summer that decided to fill up the oil tank in July and he was able to talk the oil company down from $1.30 to $0.99 a gallon. All winter he talked about that...we'de have friends over "you know how much I paid for that oil..."

Hmmmmm I miss that man. I am not a heat controller because I want to be like him it just kind of happened. I guess I am missing both of my favorite men, my dad lives on in a lot of the things I do and my husband - well I will have him back this weekend.

I guess the economy is bad...(Day's of Our Lives Spoiler)

...I read today that John and Marlena are being laid off!!! Now I haven't watched Days of Our Lives in over a year but it was always a comforting thought that if I ever did decided to start watching again I would at least know two characters.

We've been through so much together, there was the time she was possessed by the devil, oh and when John was brainwashed and thought he was a priest, when they were both thought to be murdered but really Stefano had them on an island. Oh and when she fell down the stairs and lost her their baby and ended up with amnesia and married the doctor who wanted to kill her...or kill John, well anyway - he was bad!

Now it wasn't said that they are done forever because, let's face it - no one is gone forever in the lady of the "stories" (shout out to my grandma!) but until NBC can afford them again they will be gallivanting all over the globe.

So enjoy the big blond hair and the original smell-the-fart-actor while you can because early next year they will be gone.

yup I did it

I put up the Christmas tree, it's decorated and the stocking have been hung by the chimney with care as well

It is a little early but I am OK with that. DH is gone and it was the perfect time to just get it done. He's not much of a helper with this stuff - he sees no point in it so if I want it I do it. That's fine, you wont see me helping him with anything xBox related!

The living room isn't nearly as cute as it was last year, we bought a giant couch earlier this year and I was not thinking about a Christmas tree at the time. So basically our living room has been take over. It's a small sacrifice to have some Christmas cheer.

I am still waiting for my replacement camera from amazon after my Halloween shit show I will post some tree pics when I get it.

In other news, DH is out of town and I am really enjoying my time alone - since he got back from deployment I haven't had any, I will love having him next to me at the end of the week but for now, it's just me and the critters!

I have nothing to add

my dog is PASSED OUT!

He is snoring like...well like someone who snores a lot! It hasn't been a particularly exhausting day...unless he ran laps while we were at the market (which he has been known to do!) I think he's just resting up because he knows that DH is leaving early in the AM for a week and he wants to have all his energy to drive me nuts!

Yup, DH is leaving for a week. Kind of a bummer but it's just some training so I know he'll be safe. To be honest it will be a nice little break - is that bad? I LOVE having him home and I know he loves being home but with every going on with the are-we-or-aren't-we reenlistment process we are both a little stressed. This will give me a chance to get over this cold once and for all and get my house in order before Thanksgiving. I don't care if it's just going to be us, it's a holiday and I will not celebrate it in a messy house.

Speaking of the holidays, I have started my shopping! I have ordered gifts for my little brother's 2 kids, my second older sister's 2 kids, and DH's cousin. I've decided that all my shopping will be online so I can ship it directly to them, no more post office for me! So now I only have to buy for my older brother's 2 step kids, my oldest sisters 2 kids, DH's 3 cousins, DH's niece, DH's father, and DH's sister...yup...only. 4 of those kids will get gift cards (which the cheap-o in me hates because I can't get those on sale!) and if I don't hear from my older brother his kids wont get anything....long story but I've reached out so we shall see. DH's niece will get some sort of army uncle T-Shirt and his we buy his sister AAA and this year we are going to toss in a coffee mug with DH's unit on it. I think we are getting his dad a jacket with DH's unit on it too. So expensive. We don't have kids yet but when we do I hope everyone remembers how generous we've been to theirs...

I am not a big fan of receiving gifts, if there is something I need I get it. being on the receiving end makes me uncomfortable. I love being the one to give that gift that a child truly loves. That big smile and they can't put it down...that is the best feeling. Hopefully everyone will take pictures of the kids getting their gifts for us.

I've babbled on for quite a bit and that little guy is still passed out. I am waiting for amazon to hurry up and send my new camera so this was taken with my cell and so it awful quality but you get the idea...

i will miss it

DH and I are still talking about our next move - stay in or get out of the army. We don't really have too much time to mull it over and I am glad about that. As I mentioned yesterday, I was on post for my doctors appointment and as I was driving around past airfields and banners, soldiers in formation and soldiers in strykers I realized that if this is the final year of it, I am going to miss all of this.

We live 20 miles from post so I don't really see that everyday, sure I see a lot of guys in ACUs coming home from work but seeing them in their element is different. We all, army families, part of this. There is a real sense of belonging that hits you at random times in this life. For me it was yesterday when I was leaving the commissary.

This life isn't for everyone and there are a lot a sacrifices to be made but it is a life you can be proud of. It is a life that you can never truly understand until you are living it.

And yes I am bummed about the Patriots loss last night, a great such a waste of a great comeback. And I don't think I am getting any better health wise, now it hurts to breathe (don't worry I will do it anyway!)

one sad turkey

I had to go on post (base - but in the army it's call post) for my oh-so-fun annual exam today and seeing how DH and I both got paid today I decided to hit up the commissary (super market for military peeps) and stock on for Thanksgiving. It will only be DH and me and maybe a girlfriend who's husband is abroad. I still plan on making it special, a real turkey, potatoes, yams, homemade cranberries, carrots, pies...all of it but just in smaller pots. :)

Well let me give you a little background - I am a middle child 5 kids so we never had a turkey smaller than 25lbs. My stepmother would just grab the biggest bird they had and we would enjoy a feast and a few days of leftovers and I LOVED it.

Also, Thanksgiving is my favorite - no one expects anything ,it's not a gift giving day it's just an excuse to surround yourself with the people in your life who make it worth living.

Anyway...there I was starring down the neck holes of Tom after Tom after Tom 15lbs, 25lbs, 9lbs...and I was the jerk looking for the smallest bird they had. There were others throwing in the towel and just getting the breast but I refuse! I ended up with a 7something pounder and it is the smallest little thing I've ever seen. It will look even smaller in my roasting pan! The Pampered Chef must have a big family....

I am blessed that I have the ability to spend $17 on a 7lb turkey, I am blessed that I will have my husband next to me to celebrate the day with. And the bright side...such a small guy wont force me to start cooking at the crack of dawn!

That is all, the Patriots are on and I am still feeling like poo....

curse this bad memory!

I always have brilliant ideas for my blog when I am just about to fall asleep or in the shower or otherwise preoccupied. I always tell myself that I will remember it but I never do and then I end up getting on here talking about nothing! Well not "nothing" I can usually find something to complain about! I guess I should keep a pen on me at all times but I am not sure how useful that will be in the shower...

Anyway - do you like the new look? I didn't create it, it was a blogger template I found it here. So thanks!

I am still sick, I feel like death but I got myself up and came to work. I don't sit near anyone so I should "infect" the office - I wasn't offered sick time with this job so I can't be at home in bed like I really want to be. I am going to the doctor tomorrow so maybe I will just take the whole day off.

I surprised DH with the NFL network today...it's only $6 a month but I think we will cancel it after the game tomorrow night - I am just so glad that we won't have to watch it on the Mac with the slingbox....the quality sucks! Oh and if you're wondering, he managed to pull out a win in Fantasy on Monday night, it's OK, I will just got set my team up for this week - once the play offs start it's anyone's game.

Sniffle...sniffle

I'm siiiiiccccckkkkk......IIII hhhhaaaaatttteeeee it! Every year, it never fails. Every year I get sick in the fall. At least last year it had the decency to come at me when I wasn't working so laying in bed all day was perfectly acceptable. But nope, I have a job these days so I have to be responsible and come to work. Oh well.

Today there are more important things than my pounding head, today is Veterans Day. Today is the say to thank those people who have served in the armed forces during times of war and times of peace. It is the day to think back on those revolutionary soldiers who fought a war they did not think they could win and every soldier who fought each war that came ofter that. It is a day near and dear to my heart because my husband is a veteran. He has been to war and will go again. My brother, cousins, grandfathers, in-laws...veterans.

I don't think I would ever have the courage to raise my hand and do my part. I don't think that I would ever be able to give all of my self to the military like these people in my life have done. It is an amazing thing to have the courage to do and for that I say "Thank you & I am proud of you." So as you are going about your day today just take a moment to think about and appreciate what the soldiers, past and present, have given us.

a lesson in karma

In an effort to get out of work early and to the marriage retreat on time I decided it would be a good idea to slip out the service door 30 minutes early - not like I would be missed at 4:30 on a Friday. Well as soon as I stepped off the bottom stair and started to haul ass to my car I slipped and bagged up my knee on the pavement. It was throbbing all weekend! Damn you karma....but I am glad I didn't leave a hour early, I would hate to see what kind of bodily harm I would have been subjected to.

In other news I learned this weekend that DH will be gone on TDY next week (well he thinks it's next week) and then for 2 weeks in December - hey thanks for telling me!

we're home

and I can't say that the dog is very happy to see us! My friend was nice enough to come over and feed/walk/play with him a few times a day while we were gone and since we returned he's been giving us an attitude!

I have a crazy head ache so I will leave you with a few things:

-don't cheap out when buying long lasting logs for your fire place...if they are only $10 odds are that they will give you a crazy head ache

-the cat was so happy when I got home (yes I not we...she and DH aren't really friends) that she wouldn't let me put her down

-if your husband wants to buy End War just go ahead and throw away your xBox because you really don't want all that crazy head ache inducing noise in your house

and finally

-if the Giants keep their defense up this game and Boldin has less than 15 points tomorrow I will hold on to beat DH in Fantasy this week and continue my climb from 0-3 to the top (this will land me in 3rd place among all big bad Spec Ops army dudes) (but I am sure that I just jinxed myself so we shall see...)

quick...

I'm at the hotel and my hairbrush has run away....NOT cool. We seem to have a good group at our table for the conference so hopefully today will be a good day.

Oh the hotel has a sleep number bed and I was so excited to try it out but I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. :(

Hoping for a wonderful weekend

One of the great things about the army is they are really trying to keep families together as much as possible. One way they do this is with marriage retreats. We are going to one this weekend, basically it's a weekend in a hotel with meals included and 2 days of "lectures" on all things marriage from the Chaplin. We went last year and it was a really good time so I am hoping this year is good too, we are in a pretty ghetto hotel this time. Last time we were down town and this time we are roughing it airport style.

I am glad to get away, I think it will be a good time for DH and I to relax and really talk about the decisions we have to make. Today is his 3 year anniversary in the army, in 364 days we could be "free" if we want to...no more deployments or TDY's...no more free health care or job security...

It is so crazy that he's only been in for 3 years - seems like FOREVER haha.

Yesterday afternoon I got a meeting request from my boss for an update meeting 2 hours later, I think I knocked her socks (I can't tell you how often I try to write 'sox') off because in that small amount of time I was able to put together an update meeting that would rival the presentation that my coworker put together for her annual review - I like to be prepared! So she was impressed and I don't have to worry about any of that over the weekend, I live for another pay cycle.

Oh and on a side note, I almost strangled a coworker today. Honestly, you shouldn't get out of you red light camera ticket because you don't think there was adequate signage...you knew it was there but what's more is you SHOULD NOT BE RUNNING RED LIGHTS! Seriously, what ever happened to accountability?

OK that is pretty much it for the day, maybe I will see you this weekend maybe I wont.

Hmmm - this one is a little cryptic!

So the more and more we talk about it it seems that in 366 days I will no longer be an army wife. I am OK with most of what that means but in this economy...what the hell are we going to do????? I needed more than a year to prepare for this! But it does mean we will finally get to go home, where our families are and the Dunkin' Donuts!

I am scared though, what happens next? We met in Aug '05, he was done with his enlistment process in Oct '05, he shipped out in Nov '05 and we were married in Dec '05. We didn't even live together until our very first wedding anniversary! So when I say that army life is all that our little family of two knows it really is ALL-WE-KNOW. Obviously there is a fear that once we are in a normal environment it will all fall apart. I love him more than anything and I know that we have a very strong bond so this may just be more of my irrational fear but it's a fear none the less.

He isn't making any decisions yet, he has a few things to work though first but he isn't sure that he can keep his sanity with another 3 years of this. He just happens to be with some guys of losers morals than his (well that's not hard - homeboy went to Bible college - how he ended up with me is anyone's guess!). It's hard for him to sit back and see things happen. I love him for it.

This man is my rock and not my rock is, well it's not cracking because I know the connotation that word has, lets just say there is some minor erosion...Before he deployed he gave me some advice that I have been holding on to, "Don't be a victim of your situation" and now it's time for me to tell him the same thing. I need him to be strong, I need him to be confident, I need him to be happy!

I just wish I knew how we got to this point. How did I not see any of this happening....

My Little Soap Box (don't worry I don't do this often)

It is a new day and in a few months it will be a new era. I am glad that this election made people get off their butts and be a part of the democratic process but I just hope they went to the polls as informed voters. I understand that voting for Obama was the "cool" thing to do and that all republicans are staunch old dudes who are out of touch. I pray that this was not just the worlds biggest popularity contest. I think that it is an amazing and wonderful thing for all minorities, this shows that we CAN look past the color of someone's skin, well it does as long as that is what was done. I hope that people voted for who they thought would be best for the job and not because they think that "it's about time" that we had someone other than an old white guy.

I think it goes without saying that my main concern was what will happen with the military and what exactly does "cut military spending" mean? Will he cut the pay for our underpaid service members? Will he take away benefits for our vets? Will he cut down on equipment needed for protection? What will happen? I have been trying not to worry, I have been trying to just wait it out and see but we are on the verge off committing another chunk of our lives to this I would like to know what the hell is going to happen.

I am happy that crazy Sarah Palin is no where near the white house! I am happy that I don't have to worry so much about my reproductive rights as a woman (read carefully, I am pro-choice, not pro-abortion). My whole life I have been an independent but voted with democrats in all but one election (home town sheriff or something) and the fact that I was going to the other side would have floored my father. I am going to go into the next four years with an open mind - hey we survived the last 8 years I think we can survive anything!

Nov 4, 2008

It's a big day, a very big day. There are things being decided today that will change my life. Oh, and it's election day.

Last night DH came home after a particularly crappy day of work to tell me that he is NOT reenlisting and that we are going home in a year...come again???? Not reenlisting, it took me months to get used to and excited about the idea OF reenlisting! I tried so hard not to flip out, I think I did a pretty good job of it but - yikes! There is nothing I want more than to go home but only when the time is right. I am not sure where DH has been but that economy out there, it's not looking so hot. But the difference between an accountant husband who hates his job and an army husband who hates his job is that if you force the accountant to stick it out he's not going to get shot at when he does. (Well unless he really messes up someone's taxes!)

So here we are. As I have said DH is really good at his job but because of where he is he needs to go to that stupid school that he's been promised but never sent to before he can make any rank. So that means that in the group that he is with he is the lowest ranking guy which some people see as their own personal slave...it's like pledge time in a frat house. God forbid something happens to these guys and they need DH to save their lives one day, I don't think they would be asking him to sweep then.

He also made a good point, obvious from the things I have said, DH is a medic and to be a medic where he works he had to go through 2 years of training where as these guys got there within 5 months of joining. AND the pass rate at his extra medical school was 30% compared to the 95% pass rate at the school he's waiting to go to. Yes he's been in for 3 years (minus 2 days) but he spent 2/3rds of that training just in case one of these D-bags gets hurt!

I know, I know they are not as bad as I am making them seem - most of these guys are DH's friends when the work day is over. But if I was in the same situation as DH I don't think I would want to give them 3 more years of my life either, but yea - we really need that money and job security!! We are going to talk about it more tonight so hopefully with a clear head he will have an open mind.

But just to be clear, I am not going to push him to keep this job, if something happened to him after I made him reenlist I couldn't live with myself. If we are done next year we will make it work, I may have to learn to like Raman Noodles but we will make it work.

That time of year again

I just turned our Christmas theme on the work website! Can you believe that? It is time to start Christmas shopping and all that fun stuff, where am I going to put the "tree" (it's fake so I have a hard time saying that it is a real Christmas tree...) this year? I have our Christmas cards already, I didn't send them out last year so I wanted to be sure I was on top of it this year. I think they came out really cute, 3 pics of us from the year - the first hug when he got home from deployment, us at the Red Sox game then a pic of me kissing him and him cringing in a photo booth. I think everyone is going to love them. (Amanda if you are reading this act surprised!) I found a great quotation for them too:

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other." ~Burton Hillis

I think it's perfect, from our family to theirs to let everyone know that even though we are spending Christmas far away again we have each other, we have our family.

Only 52 more days! I guess I should start making a list.....

Apparently I've Gone Back in Time

Yes, I have gone back in time to my college days...because a woman of 28 should not be HUNGOVER like I am!!! But last night was fun - well ruining my digi cam was not and my coworker getting sick at the club was not but dressing up in a fabulous flapper costume and dancing with some girlfriends was just what I needed. Once I get my pics off of my memory card I may even post a few.

RANDOM ALERT:
DH is petting the cat right now and the dog is staring at him like a jealous boyfriend, I love it! He is determined to make them friends but the dog is only 2 and is very energetic so I think he needs to calm quite a bit before that happens. DH and the dog were cuddling on the couch today and I had to snap a pic (with my cell because I am with out a camera at the moment...grrrrrrrrr):

How can you not love these guys?

That is pretty much it, I must now get back to being miserable...but the worst part is I will STILL feel like crap tomorrow...oh to be 22 again....

the boss is in town...and other junk

I have lost my office, it is very sad. I sit up there, surrounded by windows in my own little world and I love it. But since the owners have decided to grace us with their presence I have been evicted so they can hold meetings all week without me listening in (yes like I really care...) I just hate how everyone jumps through hoops whenever they are in town but when they are gone it's a game of who can pawn off the most work today. With everyone else working it is easier for me to get stuff done so I guess that's a good thing. I haven't played the lotto in months - I think I should this weekend, I would LOVE a free ticket out of here. Oh and our website is down and our developers are not calling me back!! Remind me again what it was that I didn't like about being unemployed....

I am extra cranky because I just want to go home - HOME home. I am being a baby but I am OK with it. My friend's sick baby has reminded me how short life is and how much it sucks to missing out on so much of it back home. All these new babies are growing up so fast and have no idea that I am out here loving them. Hopefully after DH's reenlistment we will head home.

Other than that life is good. I am working out and feeling great. I tossed the scale months ago and I am so glad I did, I honestly don't care what it says I care that my pants don't split when I bend over and that DH still thinks I'm hot. DH is doing well as well, as always we have our army issues (like the random $150 the decided to take from his check for another phantom debt) but he's dealing pretty well. He's not away at training right now which doesn't surprise me - someday he will go...

I have been neglecting my blog...I don't really like being negative and it seems like most of what I write about is. At least it is fall. I love the fall, it is NOTHING like the fall back home but it's still nice. The leaves are bright yellow and there is that wonderful fall smell in the air. DH thinks I'm magic because one minute there was a pumpkin in the kitchen then not-so-all-the-suddenly-because-making-your-own-puree-is-a-time-consuming-pain-in-the-ass-but-oh-so-worth-it there was pumpkin bread. Yup, a little magic and a little help from all my Pampered Chef stuff.

Friday night I am going out with some friends, we will be a gaggle of 20's flappers. I'm pretty excited about it. DH hates that people take Halloween as an excuse to wear your underwear as a costume so he will be staying in (and for the record, I will be very covered up!) I think a girls night is just what I need and we have a hotel downtown so I don't have to worry about being the DD this time. Watch out world Mrs. S is going to let her hair down - finally!

It Would Be So Easy...

...if everything in life went on exactly as you want it. If my husband could do what he loves and we could still live close to home, if you were guaranteed the perfect job, if your children were never sick...but I guess that is just not life. These past few days I have found myself questioning it all again. How can so many things be wrong in the world if there really is a God looking out for us?

The baby I wrote about in my last post is doing MUCH better, out of the ICU and on track to go home tomorrow. What all this will mean for his future no one knows. He has an undeveloped part of the brain that will never develop. Where was God when that was happening? That is what I have been wondering all week but knowing how amazing my friends are I finally realized that God has been there all along. He had this amazing baby who may need a little more attention than all the other babies - God knew that my girlfriend and her husband would be the perfect people to send him to.

OK, all together now..."AWWWWWWW" I know, a little sentimental and full of cheese but I'm OK with it. I can't wait to go home and meet the little guy (and the 6 other babies who have been born to friends and family that I have yet to meet!) I just have no idea when I will get there. Flying is so expensive! Oh well. That is really all I have to say. That and DH is working nights all week and I hate when he does that!

Why?

One of my best friends is going through hell right now, her 3 week old baby is in the ICU. I can't even imagine what she is going through. I am just praying that God is present in this. I am have a very hard time believe that he is...why would God let a beautiful baby boy be born without a fully formed brain? Why would he fool his parents for 3 weeks into thinking they were living the American dream only to have it snatched away? Why would he risk it? Had she not followed her gut and called the doctor when everyone said he was fine he may not be here. How does God take these chances?

Another MRI tomorrow will tell us more and until them we are praying that he starts breathing on his own again. What I wouldn't give for a trip home right now.

What I really wanted to talk about

So last month I posted a blog called "I Made My List" and it's just a bunch of songs that I like (sorry if there were lots of songs with foul language, I started making that play list a long time ago, I think I got rid of them all). That really isn't what I wanted to blog that day. The list I made isn't nearly as fun as that.

While DH was deployed I had everything planned out in my head - what I would do if, God forbid, someone came knocking on my door. I didn't put it down on paper, why tempt fate you know? So last month I did. I have every step I should make or have made on my behalf written down. I know that I will never need to use it but it is comforting to know that I have a plan.

Basically it says who needs to be called, where they are located, the phone number, their relationship to me and who they will be notifying (i.e. My sister will be called and will need to fly out here, my college friend will be called and she will start reaching out to people from school etc.). I have also listed what bills I would like to take care of in advance so I don't have to think about them for a while, what I would like to do with DH's car, turning my home phone off (I am listed and I know some reporters care more about the story than your feelings) things like that.

Go ahead and judge me if you want, say that I am morbid and ridiculous. I have heard it all. I told a friend at work about this and she couldn't really get it but she understood that it was a comfort to me. She shared it with a friend of hers who recently married an officer at Ft. Hood. She told her how admirable she thought that it was that I would prepared (in theory) for that just in case situation. Apparently he friend is delusional because she went on to tell my coworker that I was out of my mind and that there is no reason to ever do this because she has put on her husband's equipment and they are so protected...I feel bad for her, she just doesn't get it yet and I pray that she never really does.

I have a very close friend who didn't want to jinx her husband so they never even changed the SLGI (insurance) over to her name. I can understand that, there are overwhelming odds that your soldier will return and what's more is that she had a great relationship with his parents. Well, her husband didn't make it home and not only did she have to deal with that reality but his family turned on her and all she got was the initial death gratuity and the measly spousal support the Army offers. She had just purchased their first home not even a week earlier.

You tell me that I am being silly. Do I think that I will ever have to use this list? No I don't. Did I think that I would be the recipient of a returned care package that was just a few days late in making it to Iraq while visiting my dear friend - the 20 year old war widow? No I didn't.

To me this is like anything else, I have a spare tire in my car - I hope I never have to use it but it is comforting knowing that it is there for me if the day does come when I need it.