dear God, please help me find a good hair stylist in AZ

I decided it was time to cut my hair, once I hit the point when my hair doesn't leave the pony tail/giant ball of hair for weeks something needs to be done. 

Just like I did last time, I decided to go to the hair school for a $10 cut and $7 conditioning treatment.  This way if I walk out looking like crap I only spent $17 + tip.  Thank God for that.

I took a wrong turn and ran a little late, I called at the time of my appointment and made sure I wouldn't mess up the schedule, I was told it would be fine.  I walked in very apologetically 5 minutes late and checked in, I then sat for 45 minutes.  When she finally came over she said that no one told her I was there, the front desk girls said she didn't know she had an appointment.  Whatever, water under the bridge just someone own the mistake and stop passing the buck.

I showed the girl a picture of what I wanted, this picture:

I wanted it short, collar bone short.  I told her to add soft layers.  We talked for about 2 minutes about how I want the layers but when she brought her instructor over she said it was a straight cut, I chimed in, "no we just talked about the layers" grrrrr. 

She did my treatment and started on my cut and stood there for what seemed like forever trying to figure out how much to take off, I told her cut what she thinks and if it's not short enough she can just cut more off (seriously, is that such a hard concept?).   After 3 times through she decided it was short enough, I told her that I thought a little bit more would do the trick but she said it would be where I wanted once it dried.  Amazing that she knows so much about the hair I've had for 30 years. 

Aside from her second guessing every cut she made her hands shook like crazy which I didn't know if it was from nerves or that she needed a cigarette.  If you want to smoke that's your choice but I would never choose a stylist who smokes, you might think you don't smell but you do.  I understand that these are students so she's learning which is what you get for $10 but still, if you shake that much maybe you need a little more time on one of those dummy head things.

When the cut was done she started her blow dry, I told her I like to wear it straight and she decided that means load it up with product and hope for the best.  She didn't even attempt to make it wearable, she used her fingers and that was it.  I told her that this was a missed opportunity on her part (yup, I'm one of those people but after waiting 45 minutes and having essentially 3 haircuts I felt it was OK), any high end saloon would expect that she knew how to blow out curly hair and mine was perfect to practice on and she didn't even attempt.

I should have take a picture of how she expected me to walk out, it was so pathetic, I couldn't even tell if the cut was correct because it was a ball of frizz.  This is what I looked like when I walked in the door after pulling it into a ponytail:

ignore the color, this was taken in the bathroom

 This is how I should have left:

I showered, washed the 47 products out and blew it out myself and guess what, it's too long.

the amazing juggling R.A.W.

(R.A.W. = Random Army Wife, that's me!)

Staring at a blank blog is no fun.  It's not for a lack of things to blog about, I think it's because there are so many things going on.  Right now every ball in my ball juggling basket is in the air and I need to just stay calm and catch one ball at a time so not to drop them all.  And this stuff is pretty important so it's like they are glass balls.

First, I had an appointment yesterday and #2 is doing well.  I have gained more weight than I wanted but I'm not surprised, I eat like crap and have been craving (and eating) McNuggets but at this point I am eating what I can.  The sad thing is this may have been my last appointment with this doctor since we are moving soon.

Next, Doc's orders came through on Friday and after a bit of phone tag I talked to the housing office and they have a house waiting for us, they only have 3 bedrooms but oh well.  I sent the application so they will hold it for three months.  Doc has to go to the briefings and get the ball rolling for the DITY move.  I should start packing but I really really hate packing.  After 4 years here it's going to be weird to move and while we did PCS from Ft. Bragg we were only there for 9 months while Doc was in a class so it was never a real home.  I would say that I've never considered WA home but after 4 years I feel like I know this place.

Finally (not really but it's all I've got for tonight) Doc seems to be doing well since the injections.  He is still recovering from a week of no sleep but as he comes out of that fog he is feeling better.  Now that we're getting out of here it's like a weight has been lifted, not having to deal with that stress is making a huge difference, he said someone at work saw him smiling and was surprised because he had never seen him really smiling.  Can you imagine that, you work with someone every day and you've never seen them really smile?

So that's it, stay tuned for another horrendous haircut experience - I don't know why it keeps happening to me.

something new

First, Doc got his injections yesterday.  The injection site is a little sore but so far he said he's feeling good.  I guess we'll know by the and of weekend if it's working, a weekend without a headache would be a first since the accident.

Now on to our new endevor, we're cloth diapering (CD) TC and are ready to CD #2.  It's something I've always been interested in doing.  As a teenager I told my step mother that I wanted to do it when I had kids and she told me I would never keep up with it, so a big "suck it" to her.  When we moved into this house the washing machine was pretty ancient so I decided we would go with disposables.  The washer broke and was replaced several months ago so it's been in the back of my mind but now that #2 is coming it just makes sense. 

I'm not fanatical about it, I'm not going to freak out if she's spotted in a disposable diaper and I'm not going to start looking down on non CD families, I know it's not for everyone.  (Remember that South Park episode when they talk about Prius owners loving the smells of their own farts?  Well I feel like there are a lot of CD moms like that and I'm not going to be one.)  She is still wearing disposables at night and I've already decided that she'll wear them when we drive from WA to AZ and for as long as it takes for us to get a washer and dryer purchased and install in out house on post.  #2 will wear newborn disposables as well, there is no telling how fast s/he will grow so I'm not wasting money on cloth since this is my last baby.

I decided to finally make the change for a few reasons, the first two are very selfish reasons.  I want her to potty train faster - it's said that CD babies do this because they can feel the moisture in her diapers) and it's cheaper over the long run.  Other major reasons are her poor bum!  She has been having some bad diaper rash and no matter what we do it comes back.  I know with CD she doesn't have to deal with the chemicals resting on her skin 24/7, I have no way of knowing if it's a coincidence or not but the rash has gone and it's only been 3 days.  Of course there's the environmental reason too, but I'm not going to lie and pretend that was the motivating factor.

We decided to go with Kawaii Baby Diapers because a friend recommended them and they are $6.99 a piece and not $22.00.  Sold!  They seem to be holding up well and hopefully will continue.  They are adjustable so should fit from 10lbs to 30ish.  I am open to trying other brands if anyone wants to send them to me for free (kidding, unless you really want).

Happy Birthday Daddy

He was so amazing, so fun to be around and could put a smile on anyone's face.

dark

Guess what?  Doc didn't get the injections.  I guess he will be getting them this week, last week they had a consultation.  So here's hoping this is the week.  He said there is botox in them so I'm a little jealous. 

Guess what else?  Doc's gone again.  This one is stupid, he has to work all night and it's already causing problems.  We texted a few times then he got on facebook and started a fight with me.  He hasn't slept in about 24 hours and this is just what happens.  Lucky me huh?

For the first time TC asked for him while he was away.  We've been saying "where is" with her for as long as she's been mobile and she used it correctly earlier when looking for her stroller.  I found it for her.  Later she came up to me and wrapped her arms really tightly around my neck and said "where dada" and it broke my heart, I couldn't just go in the other room and find him.

He should be back in time for his appointment on Thursday. 

I had my NT scan scheduled for tomorrow but I canceled it.  I saw the baby last week and all looked well so I'm just going with that.  I couldn't handle getting not great news by myself. 

My dad and my grandparents when he came home for the first time.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday, he would have been 60.  He would have been 60 and he would have 7 almost 8 grand kids not just the 3 he had when he died.  He would have been 60 and he would have walked me down the aisle and danced with me at my wedding.  He would have been 60 and had 10 years more with those of us who loved him.  These are all selfish thoughts, he is in paradise where he always knew he was going.  His 49.78 years here were nothing compared to the eternity he gets to spend in heaven and until it comes the time for the rest of us to join him he is enjoying his time with his dad and his little sister and the granddaughter (my niece) who didn't make it to the outside world.

So here it is, I'm in a dark place right now, I am so thankful for the silly grin of TC. She has nonstop ways to make me laugh and the desire to do so. 

Wordless Wednesday

img from http://bruins.nhl.com

Doc update

I don't think I've done one of these in a while.  Around 3 weeks ago, right before he left for NC, he met with the new battalion physical therapist.  This was his first appointment with a PT, can you believe that, in 1.5 years they never thought to send him.  Whatever, what's done is done.  The PT told him that one of the reasons for his headaches is his neck muscles are hyper extended.  I suppose rolling off a 50ish foot cliff can do that to ya.  Hearing this makes me want to go back in time and make him get the medivac, had he been stabilized on a board and then restricted in a hospital and not running missions perhaps he would have healed.  Once again, what's done is done.  I really need to stop with the what ifs, nothing can change the past.

Tomorrow he has two appointments, one is to FINALLY get to occipital block injections.  These have been put off for so long I'm glad it's finally happening tomorrow.  He also has an appointment for a deep tissue message thanks to the Care Coalition.  Word on the street is that I can get one too, he'll have to look into that because I could use it.  I hope these help him, his headaches are bad again and if the persist his evil twin will show up and start fighting with me.

A friend posted on facebook about her husband's sleep study showing sleep apnea so I did a little research and realized that Doc should probably have a sleep study done as well, a lot of his TBI symptoms can also be sleep apnea symptoms (I've only included the symptoms that Doc has):

• Waking with an unrefreshed feeling after sleep, having problems with memory and concentration, feeling tired, and experiencing personality changes.
• Morning or night headaches. About half of all people with sleep apnea report headaches.
• Heartburn or a sour taste in the mouth at night.
• Sweating and chest pain while you are sleeping.

Symptoms of sleep apnea that others may notice include:

• Loud snoring. Almost all people who have sleep apnea snore, but not all people who snore have sleep apnea.
• Restless tossing and turning during sleep.
• Nighttime choking or gasping spells.

(all from webMD)

I don't know if he stops breathing in his sleep, I've never thought to check.  I don't want more things to be wrong with Doc, I'm not fishing for more things to be wrong but usually with a diagnosis there are treatments.  That's all I want, treatmentbgt5.  Other than his appointments tomorrow Doc is not in treatment for his TBI.  It's like they've given up on him.  If sleeping with a mask on will help some of these symptoms bring it on!
    

Cheers

image via http://classic-tv.com

 

Doc and I have been watching Cheers on Netflix and I forgot how much I love this show.  It is so clever and funny, each of the jokes hits right on and even the raunch is not raunchy.  Watching this really highlights how overtly sexual TV is today.

Take Barney from how I Met Your Mother and compare him to Sam from Cheers, both ladies men and you never get lost when one is talking about sex but Barney spells it all out in every detail while Sam just says a few sentences and he has you rolling on the floor.  I remember watching Cheers with my parents and not feeling embarrassed, I would never want to sit through how I Met Your Mother with my kids.  It seems that where there used to be a hilarious back and forth there is now a random sexual comment, lazy writing perhaps?


I really think there is a place for a show like Cheers on TV again.  Doc and I can't be the only people craving a comedy witty enough to not have to hit you over the head with sex.  The closest show I can think about right now is Parks & Recreation which I love, how about more like that?

I will miss a few things

With issues arising for Doc once again at work I am really looking forward to hitting the road and sweating it out in the desert.  Over the past few days I have been thinking about the many things I will actually miss about Western Washington.  I know I complain about this place enough but there are some amazing things.

• First and most importantly I will miss my friends.  I know that no matter where I go the true friends will come along with me.  There is always a way to stay in touch but it hurts my heart to think about it.
• My doctor and having a wonderful hospital right down the road.  I have been doing my research about the new location and I'm scared.  There is no post hospital so I will deliver at the regional medical center which is fine but I was floored when I read their stats; they deliver over 9 babies a day on average.  I thought the 7 a day here was a lot.  I don't know where to look to see the c-section rate but I'm guessing that is high too.  Labor with TC was pretty quick (6 hours admitted to delivery) but what if #2 takes its time?  Will they try to push unnecessary intervention on me?  Will I be more than just room 407?  I even looked into a birthing center in the area (no luck) I would give up my drugs for some piece of mind.  Luckily I am not easily pushed around and I am my best advocate so we will just have to roll with it.
• The good days, once in a while the weather here is just perfect: sunny skies, warm temperatures, low humidity.  And because they are so few and far between they are cherished. 
• The view, on a clear day Mt Rainier looks like an oil painting.  You really think you could just reach out and touch it.  Ever 4 years later it sometimes takes my breath away.  
• Bald eagles, I've seen 3 of them and it's so cool.  There was one flying over my house a few weeks ago.
• Cell service, I've heard that AT&T has no service on the new post, so long iPhone :(
• Civilization, I am 5 minutes from several shopping plazas and restaurants.  When we get to the new place we will live on post about 30 miles from the closest town and that town is not overly impressive. 

I think that's pretty much it.  I am still getting used to the idea of leaving this place, leaving the unit that we started this journey to be a part of.  I know this is the best move for Doc and his recovery and a great move for our family but I'm scared! 

on the mend

I took TC to the doctor yesterday and even though it wasn't our regular doctor we had a really good appointment.  She had done research on Fifth Disease before we got there and let me know what to look for in TC and myself.  TC's rash had dispersed over night so I was thankful for that.  After a check she said TC just has a virus which will clear up on its own.  Just as I suspected but better safe than sorry.

Her fever rose through out the day and topped out at 103.9 which is very scary to see but it just means she's working super hard to get better.  Today she's doing great, topped out at 99.9.  When she's sick she's so snugly and loving, I love it.  Usually she's just so independent and never wants to snuggle.

I don't know if it's because she's been sick or because I know the end of this TDY is coming but I am so ready for Doc to come home - I need some help!  Well I just need a break.  I know women do this all the time for much longer blah blah blah but as always I am not about comparing myself to another's situation.  I am comfortable saying that 2 weeks being pregnant-sick with a toddler is long enough.  Could I do it for a deployment?  Of course I could but at this point in time I don't have to.

He comes home around midnight tomorrow (well if it's after midnight it would really be Saturday).  It should be interesting to see how TC reacts to being pulled out of bed in the middle of the night to spend 90 minutes in the car.  Would it be bad if I run away for a few hours on Saturday?  It's not like he misses me anyway, he just wants to see TC...hmmmm where should I go...

potpourri

TC is sick and it's so pathetic.  The poor thing is running a fever of 103.5 and has developed a red cheek.  Just one cheek.  I am not sure what's going on, my initial plan was to let her ride it out for a few days and hope it clears itself up.  Then her cheek freaked me out and I consulted with the evil Dr. Google who told me about Fifths Disease which really isn't something to worry about unless you're exposed during early pregnancy.  Great.  I called and got her an appointment for the morning just to rule it out, if that is what she has I guess I will work with my OB.  It is one of those things that once you've had it you should be good but I called my mom and she said I never had it.  I'm trying not to freak out because the chances that it will cause complications are small (if that is what she has).  I  don't need to put any more stress on myself about this pregnancy.

Today was supposed to be my second dating ultrasound, you may remember the baby was not in a good position for a measurement last time.  I had to cancel because I couldn't bring TC to a sitter while she's sick.  I'm not too broken up about this, it's been rescheduled for next week and now Doc will be able to come. 

I do have some fun things to report, yesterday I had lunch with two lovely Navy wives (one of whom is a Navy reserve officer herself).  I think you all know Wife of a Sailor and if you don't get to know her because she's great.  She came down to my neck of the woods along with her friend Poekitten. It's so wonderful to make face to face connections with people you feel like you've know forever.  (And Wifey  I'm giving you a shout out so how about you add me to your Army Family blogroll - mmmkkay?)  I wish our visit could have been longer but I got an emergency call from another friend that I couldn't ignore. 

My friend fainted at work and could not reach her husband, they are training for the next trip and he could have been anywhere.  She needed a ride from Olympia to the hospital on post, of course I could do that and Wifey and Poekitten were nice enough to drive behind me and follow me there in case we needed anything.  On my way I called Doc in NC and asked him to call his work numbers and have someone find this guy, if they had to go out to a range so be it.  Doc called and within minutes my friends husband has 5 different guys running up to him telling him to call his wife (this is one of the reasons I am going to miss this unit). 

I was a little nervous about picking her up.  This is my friend who lost her baby last summer at 30+ weeks pregnant and I hadn't yet figured out how to tell her that I was pregnant again.  I knew she and her husband were trying but I hadn't heard anything so I didn't know how it was going.  My chubby self got out of the car to help her (surprisingly same kind of chubby) self in the car.  I made sure she was OK and then told her that I'm pregnant and she said "me too!".  I was so excited.  She's 3 weeks ahead of me but she knew Doc and I were trying and didn't want to say anything in case we were having a hard time.  So far her baby is doing fantastic, none of the early signs of complications that they had last time and what ever happened yesterday was just a freak thing and she and the baby are just fine.  Now that we both know about each others pregnancies I guess we can stop avoiding each other.

I guess it's been a pretty eventful couple of days here.  I am counting down to Friday night/Saturday morning when I can pick Doc up.

hmmph

I'm ready for Doc to come home, I didn't even get mad that he went out and got wasted last night - that really means I miss him.  That's pretty much all I've got so I'll leave you with pictures of the cutest little lady ever.

let the appointments begin

I know I've already had 2 baby appointments but they weren't real appointments.  Today was my initial OB appointment with my doctor (who I really like and almost want to send Doc to AZ without me so I don't have to leave him).  I talk to him about how I've been feeling and he gave me some Zofran to hopefully make me feel better.  Our main goal is to get me back working out, he's my regular doctor so he knows how important feeling good about myself and working out are to me and my emotional well being.  I know I am craving and missing the endorphins that come from working out and not being able to get off the couch is just not cutting it.  If this doesn't help he said we should talk about Zoloft, I'm hoping this works because I don't want to be medicated, I know there is nothing wrong with it but for me I don't want it.

I just wish this was talked about more, I wish I didn't have to feel like such a failure as a woman because I am not over the moon with excitement.  I guess it's just one step at a time, we are just now starting the important discussion about postpartum depression and you know how we American's are, we like to focus on one subject until we are sick of it.  My doctor was comfortable with me telling him that I am still doing everything I need to do for the baby.  As much as I am craving the taste of a beer or the relaxation of a glass of wine it's not happening.  No matter what I am feeling now I know it's not about me and it's not forever.  The end result is a beautiful baby that we will love and cherish. 

We did look for a heart beat with the doppler but at 10weeks 5 days I knew it was a long shot.  We didn't hear anything.  I have an ultrasound on Tuesday so I see the little bugger then.  I also set up the NT scan for June 21st which means it will show a perfectly healthy baby, the 21st would have been my dad's 60th birthday so I know I'll feel him there with us. 

Basically things are going well in my uterus and we are just working on getting the rest of my body on board.

1999

That is the year I graduated from high school.  Last night I took a look at the old year book and as soon as I saw the pictures of all of my friends I got the feeling of dread.  I was in a horrible relationship with a little twerp of a guy.  His insecurities became mine.  As all of these relationships start out he was perfect, made me feel good about myself and I thought he was just the best thing to ever happen to me.  Then I was pressured into sex before I was ready, he knew that I was a virgin and once that happened he would have his hold on me and he did.

After that he started with his rules, they came one at a time so it didn't seem like that big of a deal.  First was my hair, it started with him liking it pulled back so I did that often but then it turned into me looking ugly with it down so obviously I never wanted to wear it down.  Then it was my wardrobe, only sluts work tank tops so obviously I didn't want to do that, wearing a skirt will just show the world how fat I was (no I wasn't close to fat), no form fitting clothes.  A few times I straightened my hair and got a lot of positive reaction and that caused a big fight.  When I tried to question these things I was told I could break up with him but no one would love me or find me attractive and if I pushed him on that things got violent.

My school had senior day the fall of senior year, we took the picture of the 99 for the yearbook (you know all the kids forming the 9s).  After that was a little ice cream social and the photographer went around taking pictures.  My friends were in so many and when I was with them my boyfriend yelled at me for being in pictures, I have no idea why he had a problem with it.  I missed out of the fun of that day because we were fighting.  Then I looked at some of the other events that year that I didn't go to because he didn't allow it and I was heart broken. (No  homecoming, not senior breakfast, didn't see the plays, no Mr. AHS competition...)

I tried to break up with him but it never stuck.  It wasn't until the spring when I wanted to go to the senior reception with my parents and he didn't want to go and didn't want me to go.  We spent the day fighting on the phone and I almost didn't go.  My parents talked me into it, they never liked him but I never listened to them about him.  I finally told him I was going and that was final, I didn't expect to see him but there he was, walking in as we pulled up.  I'm surprised my dad didn't pull him aside and put the fear of God into him.

That summer was a lot of on and off BS, mostly off.  I knew I was going to college and I would be able to make a clean break.  That's what I did.  He turned a little creepy at that point, calling me at all hours of the night to see if I was in my room, dedicating songs to me on the radio, all sorts of crap that just made me hate him more. 

How did this happen to me?  I had parents who were involved in my life, I played sports, I made good grades, I had great friends and it still happened to me.  It can happen to anyone, it can happen to TC.  I can't tell you how much that scares me.  I look back at my high school years with dread and pain and it would kill me if she does the same some day.  While being the mom to a girl is all fun when it comes to dresses and pony tails it's terrifying when it comes to boyfriends and potential abuse.