4 years ago I would have been pissed about a friend deciding to stay at home and do nothing with a guy rather than come over and hang out. Something like that is against the "girlfriend code." Part of this can be attributed to the fact that my maturity level wasn't very high four years ago but most of it is because these days I am savoring every moment I spend with DH. If I stay home with him on Friday here is what will happen: he will play xbox all night and I will either watch Sex and the City on the Mac or I will be myspacing. Not anything to get too excited about but these uneventful weekends together are drawing to an end...well not an end but they will be put on hold.
I can count on one hand how many more we have before he leaves! Not cool. But on the other hand, if I don't start creating deeper bonds with the women who will be here it is going to be a very lonely deployment to say the least. So, do I accept the invitation to go have a few drinks with a new friend who is currently dealing with a deployment or do I stay home and savor every last second DH and I have before he boards that plane?
I know it really isn't that big of a deal, in the end I will prob go for a few drinks then come home and snuggle up to DH before falling asleep but this is not something I would have even had to think about before the army became the biggest decision maker in my life. It seems that nothing is as it was, I know that is obvious considering that we are living 3000 miles from where we were married bit it creeps into the small stuff too. The army decides where we will live, when we will be together, where I can work, who our friends are and even more personal issues - who my OBGYN is, when we will be able to have a baby and on more than one occasion when I will have my period! I would have never thought that MY life would be so effected by my husband's job.
So my decision has been made, I will go see my friend, meet some new people but come home early enough for some QT with the husband. These days, nothing is simple....
25 February 2008
21 February 2008
So I have decided to this fall would be a good time to TTC. With DH's deployment schedule it would work out perfectly! The only problem is that he will be off training all summer and this training is some of the hardest training the army has to offer. There is a chance that it could take him much longer than the "normal" class schedule to make it through...So I have told him his motivation to make it straight through is to give us a few months to TTC, I know some women get pregnant right away but nothing ever comes easy for us so I am sure we will not be so lucky!
He is so excited, he has wanted to be a dad since the moment we got married. He is going to be so great...it is the times that he is gone that I am worried about. Well I wouldn't say worried - concerned is more like it. I do not do well with bodily fluids and I don't really know what to say to a baby. I have been around them my whole life so Know the basics but I just don't see my self as one of those baby talking mothers! The other major obstacle is maternity leave, I have no idea how it works in this state and I am currently a long term temp and with my company's hiring freeze I don't see that changing. My temp agency sucks too...we don't even earn any vacation time at all! I left a great job in my home state...they had a great maternity leave program - I miss home!
He is so excited, he has wanted to be a dad since the moment we got married. He is going to be so great...it is the times that he is gone that I am worried about. Well I wouldn't say worried - concerned is more like it. I do not do well with bodily fluids and I don't really know what to say to a baby. I have been around them my whole life so Know the basics but I just don't see my self as one of those baby talking mothers! The other major obstacle is maternity leave, I have no idea how it works in this state and I am currently a long term temp and with my company's hiring freeze I don't see that changing. My temp agency sucks too...we don't even earn any vacation time at all! I left a great job in my home state...they had a great maternity leave program - I miss home!
18 February 2008
Rolling on 17's
It's a little disconcerting when your husband has you drive his car to work on a Monday because he is not sure if he will be home before the appointment at the shop...on Wednesday! It's OK though, I am glad they train so much - the more they train the safer they will be when they go. It is just hard. I really think that he knows that he will be home before Wednesday he just wants to drive my car...
A few weeks ago I was telling my sister that my husband (we will call him DH from hear on out) had only come home twice one week and one of those nights he was called back to work at 2AM. Her reaction made me laugh, a lot actually. She said, with 100% seriousness, "Are you sure he's been going to work?" Poor girl! But of course that was her initial reaction, not coming home for days raises major red flags in a civilian marriage. I had to try to explain that even if I was worried that DH was seeming someone else it just wouldn't be possible. Yes, we have lived here for about 6 months but we really haven't met anyone. The only woman who works in the same area as DH is the elderly lady who mends torn uniforms. When he's not at work he's with me. Yes sister, I am sure that he is at work.
That is one worry that I have never had, one that I will never have. We worry about other things. Not to say that a civilian wife doesn't worry that something will happen to her husband but for us it is different. When he works late one of two things happens, I take full advantage of having the bed to myself and I pass out as soon as I lay down or I stay up staring at the ceiling assuring myself that there is no reason to worry, if something happened I would have been notified by now. Nothing is scarier to a military wife than an unexpected knock at the door.
May not be home until Wednesday, that means I can have a clean house and eat plain chicken for dinner and watch my mindless reality TV shows in peace for a few days. Well that is exciting. It means that the only conversations I will be having are with my dog and my cat, that is kind of a bummer. It means that I have to drive the pimped out hatch back to work all week...well neither of us wants to do that! So in trying to make this week as painless as possible I will start looking at it as me waiting for my car to come home - my husband being the man behind the wheel - well that is just an added bonus!
A few weeks ago I was telling my sister that my husband (we will call him DH from hear on out) had only come home twice one week and one of those nights he was called back to work at 2AM. Her reaction made me laugh, a lot actually. She said, with 100% seriousness, "Are you sure he's been going to work?" Poor girl! But of course that was her initial reaction, not coming home for days raises major red flags in a civilian marriage. I had to try to explain that even if I was worried that DH was seeming someone else it just wouldn't be possible. Yes, we have lived here for about 6 months but we really haven't met anyone. The only woman who works in the same area as DH is the elderly lady who mends torn uniforms. When he's not at work he's with me. Yes sister, I am sure that he is at work.
That is one worry that I have never had, one that I will never have. We worry about other things. Not to say that a civilian wife doesn't worry that something will happen to her husband but for us it is different. When he works late one of two things happens, I take full advantage of having the bed to myself and I pass out as soon as I lay down or I stay up staring at the ceiling assuring myself that there is no reason to worry, if something happened I would have been notified by now. Nothing is scarier to a military wife than an unexpected knock at the door.
May not be home until Wednesday, that means I can have a clean house and eat plain chicken for dinner and watch my mindless reality TV shows in peace for a few days. Well that is exciting. It means that the only conversations I will be having are with my dog and my cat, that is kind of a bummer. It means that I have to drive the pimped out hatch back to work all week...well neither of us wants to do that! So in trying to make this week as painless as possible I will start looking at it as me waiting for my car to come home - my husband being the man behind the wheel - well that is just an added bonus!
16 February 2008
This is for my own sanity.
These nights are my favorite, hanging out on the couch with my husband and my dog, sure we are both on our computers and barley talking to each other but we are together. We can give each other those looks, the looks that only mean something to the two of us. We can tickle each other's feet when they wonder to our side of the couch. And the most important thing is something that most people take for granted, we are safe to spend another night.
In the upcoming weeks this will all be gone. My little bubble will be burst. I will still be on this couch and my dog will still be here but my husband will be off to the war. It is something that I knew would happen when we were married but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I have all the faith in the world that he will come back to me safe and sound but I am also well aware of the other possibilities.
The natural thing to do when faced with danger is to flee to safety but it is becoming more and more common place for women and men to say goodbye to our loved ones as they head to the eye of the storm. Many of us do this and each of our stories is different, this is my story.
In the upcoming weeks this will all be gone. My little bubble will be burst. I will still be on this couch and my dog will still be here but my husband will be off to the war. It is something that I knew would happen when we were married but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I have all the faith in the world that he will come back to me safe and sound but I am also well aware of the other possibilities.
The natural thing to do when faced with danger is to flee to safety but it is becoming more and more common place for women and men to say goodbye to our loved ones as they head to the eye of the storm. Many of us do this and each of our stories is different, this is my story.
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