Introducing (kind of)

Our little lady #2 has a name, in December Adair (Little A) will be rounding out our family.  We came to the name the same way we found TC's name, saw it on a website and we both agreed.  Not very romantic but it's how we get things done in this house. 

I've been surprised by how different this pregnancy is from my last.  I know every pregnancy is different but if I hadn't seen the ultrasound myself I would still be convinced I was having a boy.  By this time last time I was feeling good and ready to go.  I was pretty much my old self just rounder.  This time I am still unable to eat half of what I cook.  I am also losing my mind, I forget EVERYTHING.  It's really a problem and Doc should be a bit more understanding, I have been dealing with his head issues since his injury (yup I just went there).

Tomorrow I am meeting with a PA on post to get my referral off post, I am a horrible mom and really need to get to the doctor, it's been more than a month.  I can't even tell you how nervous I am about finding a doctor in town, I am sure they will have a list of providers that people have used and were happy with but ugh.  It's going to be a 45 minute drive to the doctor.  I just need to suck it up, I know but the last time I went to an OB referred by tricare was at Bragg and they sent me to some guy who overbooked every appointment and ran a cattle call.  I was there for a minor procedure but I would see the pregnant woman sitting there uncomfortable and miserable for over an hour waiting to be seen.  It seemed like he took only tricare and medicare patients.  This time I will not settle, I may be looking for an OB for another month but I will find one.

Back to the baby, she is crazy active.  I've been able to see her move from the outside which is creepy and early.  TC likes to sit on the top of my belly, it's uncomfortable and #2 hates it.  TC is already bullying her sister.  My cat loves to lay on my belly when I am laying in bed and #2 hates that too, the other night she kicked until the cat got up and left.

I keep wondering about her personality.  TC is a clown, she does what she can to entertain and when she finds something that makes us laugh she sticks with it.  She's also been independent for the longest time, she can entertain herself all day as long I we keep her food coming.  She's a dancer, there isn't a song that doesn't make her move.  She's just fun.  But this also has its drawbacks, she will play all day, she doesn't care if she has a dirty diaper so she doesn't tell us.  She has yet to so much as pee in the potty.  When she wants to be doing something and she can't she lets you know she's not happy.  I can't imagine a toddler being any different.  We will love Little A no matter what but I can't help but worry that her personality wont fit.

Is that horrible to say?  Maybe, I am sure she will prove me wrong and in a year I will be tell you how amazingly she fits in and how I can't remember our family before her.      

chugging along

We didn't get the hurricane because we live in Arizona but we did get a nasty dust storm with 3 hours of 60 mph winds.  It was like nothing I've ever seen before and I've experienced 2 hurricanes.  We were impressed that the satellite TV didn't go out but unfortunately our internet did.  I guess this is just something that happens out here so we should get used to it. 

Other than that things are moving along.  I have one more set of curtains to hang and need to find a home for one more print then I think we will have all of the decor that we own up.  With all this wall space I want to get more but that will have to wait.  I finished hanging the wall of pictures 10 minutes ago and after 3 houses I think I finally got the order right.  We bought some blank canvases and new paint so I can work on some paintings, Doc is really encouraging me.  He is worried that I'm becoming one of those people who has nothing in life outside of their kids.  Duh, he knows I have you guys!

I am excited to start really painting again, I did so simple birds for TC's room but they were easy mindless things. 

As of Saturday I am 23 weeks pregnant, can  you believe that?  Here's my bump from about a week ago, I am making that face because I was sure that Doc was zooming in on my boobs.

Thanks to the baby they are pretty photo worthy boobs if I do say so.  I'm back to food aversions and having hard days but I can't really complain.  I'm still struggling with my excitement level.  At this point last time I was "going to have a baby" and now I am just "pregnant".  It's weird.  To help get myself amped I started working on her bedroom.  Trying to clear out everything that doesn't belong in there and get it baby ready.  We aren't buying a new crib so it will be cribless until TC makes the switch so I'm just going to have to try to visualize what it will really look like.  Today I washed and hung all the newborn and 0-3 month clothes, it is a crime how many clothes we have.  At least after #2 is done wearing them we can pass them along and not have to hold on to them.  I am carrying this lady low just like TC but this one seems to be breach still.  TC had turned herself by now but this girl is kicking my bladder and and headbutting around my ribs.  I know I have time but I pray she turns, I can't imagine having a C-section with a 23 month old at home, not only would she have to share my attention but I wouldn't be able to pick her up.  Not happening.

So that's about it.  My computer isn't in the main living area anymore so blogging takes me getting away.  I really like it like this but I miss daily blogging, I will have to find a happy medium.  As soon as I get the house clean I will do a tour Mrs. Sergent style to show off the digs. 

baby steps

I talked to Doc on Sunday about a few of the things I needed help with.  He was joking that I had been promising him pumpkin bread when I told him that he's been promising me that he's put his stuff away.  Later that morning TC figured out how to open one of the totes and found a suture kit, not the best toy for an 18 month old so I started dragging the tote to the garage. Doc heard me and came out to finish the job.  Later in the day he organize the garage storage and brought most of his stuff out.  I was able to hang some curtains in the sitting room and even get two pictures on the walls.  Oh, and I made that pumpkin bread.

Today I did nothing house related.

This morning I decided to get outside with TC around 7:30 it was only 82 out so I loaded up her sunscreen and brought her to one of the playgrounds near my house.  She had fun but most of the stuff was too big for her to use.  She loved being in a new place checking it out.  After that we stopped by the house, grabbed the pup and went for a walk.  It was just a long way around the block, maybe 15 minutes but it was 86 by then and the sun was as strong as it ever get in WA and it felt pretty humid.  We could have done the block again but I don't want to over do it, getting used to this climate is no joke especially for a pregnant woman.  Luckily TC doesn't seem to mind and she's getting much better about letting us apply sunblock without major breakdowns.

Hopefully tomorrow we will get back out there for a longer walk.  My thighs are getting a little squishier than I like.

A few things to get used to about a small post, the commissary isn't open on Mondays and there is no hospital.  I forgot this first tidbit last night when I decided not to take anything out of the freezer.  I was able to throw together a homemade pizza with yeastless crust because of course I didn't buy yeast.  It came out pretty good, I think next time I'll make it on the grill. The other thing, lack of a hospital or even a clinic for that matter is weird.  There is an aid station with a PA and a few surgeons and that's it.  They do primary care but not pediatrics and, unless the guy coming in has a background in it, not OB.  Looks like we will be shopping for doctors in town.


The closest hospital is about 40 minutes away, if Doc wasn't trained to deal with scary trauma stuff I would be pretty nervous about it but he is any he'll know the surgeons soon too.  I'm a Massachusetts girl so I am used to having some of the best hospitals in the world a stones throw away, it's amazing the things the things that you take for granted. 

Things are coming together, Doc was even told to get his Class As redone because it can take up to a month to get the patches in and applied.  I asked him why and he told me he has to be board ready!  Obviously we don't have a date or anything but a promotion in the near future would be amazing.  I wonder if he would have to wear a black beret, I have not seen him in one of those since he graduated AIT...god that will be weird.

how about me?

Seems like everyone in my life wants to know how the move was, how TC is adjusting, how's #2 doing, what about Doc's new job, even how the critters are - see anything missing?  I'm not a big fan of pity parties but I want to have a mini one because I feel like crap and no one cares to ask.

It's not really one thing that I can put my finger on and I have no idea why I am so run down but it really needs to stop.  I am as tired as I was during my first trimester and with everything that needs to be done it's really stressing me out.  I just got the child locks on the lower kitchen cabinets, not one curtain is hung and I am looking at loads of army gear that should be put in the garage.  My mental checklist is so long that thinking about it keeps me up at night.  When I do fall asleep I am up in the middle of the night because I can't get comfortable with Doc taking up 3/4 of the bed and my expanding waistline. 

I would love a little help, I knew once we had television again it would be the end of it and I was right.  I was on the phone and asked Doc to change a diaper, we cloth diaper so the contents need to be flushed.  I have told Doc 1000 times that the wipes we were using were not flushable but he tried anyway and clogged my toilet.  We have 2 bathrooms so it's not the end of the world but had I been the one to clog his toilet he would hound me until it was fixed.  Well we finally got a plunger today and guess who ended up plunging...I know it's a small thing but it's the list of small things. 

He's all over me to take it easy, my food aversions are back and I even ended up needing a zofran shot the other night.  That with the major back pain I have and general feeling of overwhelmedness (I say it's a word so deal with it) make me want to just take a day and stay in bed but while I am taking a break who is going to get shit done?  If I had his help we would have the house clear of garage stuff, the garage organized and curtains hung in 2 hours.  Then I could concentrate on the other stuff that I like such as hanging pictures.  Instead I am chasing TC and throwing away his empties because he can't be bothered to take them to the trash.

What's really frustrating is that he hasn't even started his new job yet!  He's gone in a few times for a few hours but that's it.  He's also on my case about getting out of the house.  I feel horrible, I don't want to drive 30 minutes into town just to get out of the house and I don't want to go outside because it's 110 out there and I've been living in 60 degree temps for the past 4 years.  I am fine with hanging out in the house and the more he pushes me to get out of it the more I want to punch him in the face.

I tried to take a bath last night but the tub was wicked shallow and short, even if I had my flt belly it wouldn't have been covered by water.  3 years of not bath is going to really suck, that is where I go to run away.

There is some good news, I'm 22 weeks today and #2 is moving around much more, I can even see it from the outside already.  I started gaining weight again so I'm back to 163.  I'm going to try very hard to only gain 12 more lbs but I wont hate myself if I go over, I lost it once I can do it again. 

I'm sure I will snap out of it, once the house is set up maybe.  Maybe after we finally get my tricare transferred and I can meet my new doctors.  Once I feel like Doc is in a mood which will allow me to approach these issues with him.  I don't want him to feel attacked and I want to be calm when I bring it up.  There are 2 places where I try to never bring issues up, at the dinner table and in our bed.  Hopefully I'll find an opening soon.

Don't think my complaining makes me forget how blessed I am to be in this situation to begin with.  I just wish I didn't have to feel so alone right now.

I'm back!

A very creepy looking cable guy came to my house today and installed the internet.  I "squeed" when I saw the truck pull up.  If he wasn't such a creepster I might have wanted to kiss him. 

Anyway, my story goes back to August 7th, the day I turned 31.  We picked up the truck and started packing.  We decided the day before to wait and leave on Monday, we thought we would be able to leave in the mid morning but that wasn't the case.  We went with budget truck rental because it was $800 less than the other 2, I guess we should have known there would have been a reason.  When we got the truck home we realized that the hand truck we reserved was missing, that meant that Doc had to carry each box individually and made the process about twice as long as it should have been.  When we called budget they said they had a shortage and they were on order.  WTF, I understand a shortage of out of season flowers but hand trucks are really that hard to come by...but I digress.

We left our house at 5:00PM on Monday and drove about 3 hours to Salem, OR and stopped for the night.  I wanted to make the trip as cheap as possible so we stayed in a Super 8 the first night - yuck!  The whole place smelled like smoke.  TC decided that she loved the place so much she stayed up until 1AM to enjoy it. 

The next day is when we really got into it.  We had to travel the mountain passes of OR, I think there were about 6 of them.  Doc had the huge truck with about 8000lbs of HHG, a trailer and his car.  We topped out at about 20mph going up most of the mountains.  Going up was one thing but coming down was the scary part for me, I said a prayer each time.  The final pass in OR is the highest on I-5, like 4750 feet or something stupid, at one point we had to pull over and Doc didn't think he would make it.  I have never held a walkie talkie tighter in my life.  Before my panic attack he tried again and in second gear he made it. 

NEVER AGAIN.  never again, never again, never again.  I didn't want to do a DITY move this time, I would have loved to have sat on my ass and watch overweight guys pack up my house and the watched another set of dudes unpack it.  Doc wanted the DITY so we did it.  Then the whole trip he seemed to be keeping score on who was doing more.  He was driving the truck, he was walking the dog, he was carrying the things to the hotel room...he forgot the 2 major things I was doing - a f'ing DITY move and growing a baby (21 weeks). 

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful.  TC did great in the car and there were plenty of shaded rest stops to let run around.  Due to the heat we couldn't sit down in any restaurants so we were stuck with fast food, a hazard or traveling with pets.  The day of our final push into town is where it got interesting. 

On the final mountain pass Doc and I got separated on a truck turn off.  I tried to wait for him but people in CA don't take kindly to driving 40 on the highway, it wasn't safe.  I told him I would head up the pass and meet him at the next rest stop.  I made my way up, I hung back with the trucks going like 30 trying to keep as little distance between us as possible.  Then as I started heading down I saw that the last rest stop for 70 miles was closed!  So I continued to drive slow but I was on the highway.  I didn't want to pull off because I had TC and the cat so I couldn't leave my car (at a rest stop I just took the cat out and set the carrier in the shade).  I tried to call Doc to make sure he know the highways to take and he didn't pick up.  For an hour I called him and he never picked up.  I panicked.  I called my girl E-Dubs because I didn't know what to do, not that she could do anything but I thought that if I got irrationally upset that would be when he would call.  She was great, I was a sobbing mess thinking that he had rolled off the mountain in a fiery crash when he beeped in.  He told me I was silly for getting so upset but if the situation was reversed he would have done the same.  His phone had fallen out of reach, he had to pull over to find it.  In my head I was thinking that not only will I lose my husband but everything we own from our life together, I would have TC and that would be it.  I know a weird thing to think but that's where I went.

So I kept driving, he was a few hours behind me.  The truck had started to overheat on the pass and he had to pull over twice.  We're pretty sure that they never checked the fluids between drivers, the washer fluid was gone.  (never again) I kept driving, through Palm Springs, by a beautiful sea side town that we really need to visit, through a po-dunk little down in the middle of the state highway...until I got here.  Doc decided to pull off in Riverside and visit with his college friends, he did live in CA for 5 years.  It was a good chance for him to visit and for the truck to take a break.  There was one more sharp incline ahead.

TC and I checked into the Best Western around 6 I think.  Maybe earlier.  We had stayed in BWs the previous 2 nights and loved that they were pet friendly and had a really good hot breakfast.  Doc arrived around midnight and we were finally together in our new town.

The next day (Friday) we signed the lease for our house on post.  Our very first time living on post but since the town is 30 miles away and you can see the boarder patrol fence from it (directly on the boarder) it was a no brainier.  The house is better than we thought, the pictures did not do it justice.  I will have pictures of it once everything has found a home.  I will have pictures from the trip as soon as I can sync my droid with my Mac.

So far so good.  I have so much more to tell you about actually living here but I am sure I've lost most of you by now.  

quick update

Still no internet. I hope to get to the computers in the community center when doc comes home from work. The community center is just across the street after all! Quick version is that we made it, not with out drama but we are here and slowly getting unpacked. I hope to have a real update soon.






PS

Arizona is hot.

on the road

Blogging from the Droid sucks. We are on our way finally. I'll update when we get there but until then have a great week and you can find me on Twitter @randomarmywife.

silent

Remembering those lost not only last night but everyday since the wars started.

Praying for everyone who has been affected.

it's over

Doc signed out of his unit today.  After everything that's he's had to do while out processing it came down to one signature.

So what has he been doing these past 4 years and what did he spend 1.5 years training to do?  I'll tell you but I'm going to do it in a round about way because I don't want my blog to be found by searching for the unit.  I've gone back and forth on disclosing this information but I think we've decided we wont be coming back no matter what happens so here it is.  Remember the football player who joined the army?  There is a memorial to him here because this is where he worked.

http://www.usmilitariaforum.com/uploads/monthly_04_2011/post-16702-1303182189.jpg

That orange sticker is what I have on my car.

The constant training cycles and deployments have been our life until his injury.  We always figured we would stay here for around 5 years then it would be off to PA or med school for Doc, or something.  We always thought we would be leaving on our own terms.  Well things change quickly when someone gets knocked upside the head.

Doc is lucky to have been able to do many of the things he did.  He saw more action than some infantry guys and can look at several of his friends and know that they are still doing what they do thanks to the care Doc provided them in the field.  There are wives who got their husbands back because of what my husband did.  Maybe another medic would have done just as well but it was Doc.  The most comforting thing I heard before a deployment was one of Doc's buddies telling me "if something  happens to me and Doc isn't my medic I would rather just shoot myself in the head".  That is the confidence they had in him and because of that I knew they would do their best to keep him safe.

I know he wanted to go out there for a few more trips before all was said and done but that was not in the plan.  Now we head to an assignment which will hopefully allow Doc to heal up as much as he will ever heal.  He's working at a school on a training post.  After a few years here we will decide what the next move is, maybe some schooling maybe one of the bad ass jobs that has been contacting him...

No more looking back, the future is wide open. 

moving sucks

We are in PCS hell, well not really but I'm just not enjoying this process.  I don't know anyone who's ever really enjoyed moving.  I really didn't think it would be this hard, when we moved into this house from the apartment I was 12ish weeks pregnant and it was easy.  We were also moving from a 2 bedroom apartment with just Doc's and my crap not from a 3 bedroom house full of baby stuff.  Being almost 20 weeks pregnant is not helping.  Oh and chasing a toddler, we can't forget her.

OK the bitchfest is over, sorry about that.  But I actually had swollen feet the other night!  It's way to early for that.  The original plan was to leave on Friday and arrive on Tuesday but housing said they wont be ready for us until Friday.  They need to clean the carpets paint - this house has been sitting empty for months and they are just doing this now?  I don't get it.  Are they just trying to be jerks?  Had it been done when the last family moved out we wouldn't have to deal with the awesome paint smell.  Oh sorry, I said I would stop bitching.

Packing is going well, we just need to finish the kitchen and sun room.  Everything else looks like a bomb went off but it's actually organized chaos.

High ceilings? Just stand on a huge pelican case and bar height chair.

I'm glad to say this room looks so much better now.

front half of our garage

back half

I want to have almost everything else done by tomorrow night.  Want, but we don't have to since now we aren't leaving until Sunday (my birthday).


And for good measure a pregnancy update: I'm 19 weeks and 4 days.  My wedding rings are off, it looks like they tried to eat my finger.  I've got quite the bump and she is moving around a lot but not enough for Doc to feel her yet.  She still nameless, right now Evelyn is the front runner.

The end

thinking is hard

There is so much going on, here is the run down:

• Today is Doc's 30th and I'm too tired to really do anything and he's too stressed.
• I have been telling Doc that to advance for the move would take longer than a few days to hit our account, we don't want to hit the road until we see the money.  Anyone who's dealt with army finance should understand that.  He wanted to be on the road on Wednesday and there is no way that's happening.  He's now realizing that I was right (again) but I suppose I shouldn't remind him of that.
• Packing and scrubbing is a lot more demanding on a 19 week pregnant woman than a 12 week pregnant woman.  Ugh!  Doc is helping but not enough.
• Moses is driving me nuts, ever since we started packing he's been on edge and each time we leave the house he freaks out like we're leaving him forever.
• I kind of want to just slink out of town and tell everyone we're gone after we've left.  I don't want to have the whole going away sadness.  Of course I'll have a goodbye with TC's BFF's mom but that's probably it.
• There is so much more packing and cleaning to do and I kind of took today off.
• When a medic leaves Doc's unit they get a plaque to commemorate their time here.  Since all the guys were away on mandatory fun last week Doc ordered it himself.  He paid for it and when he went to the medic fund to be reimbursed there was no money.  It's frustrating, he's been paying his dues for 4 years and now he has to go asking to have his covered.  We'll see what happens, everyone is on leave...
• If my cat wakes me up at 4AM again because she wants to snuggle I may just punch her in the face.  Well not really but I'll want to.
• Even more random, today is not only Doc's birthday but it's my sister's husband's birthday and it's brother's ex wife's birthday. We used to tell my little brother's wife that she wasn't cool because she wasn't born on Aug 1st but since my other brother's divorce it's not as funny.