wow 100! Opening Q &A

I don't really pay too much attention to how many followers I have, I just like to have a place to get all this out but I am grateful for each of you. I hit 100 today which is great. I've seen a lot of other people do this so I think I should take their good idea and run with it.

If you have any questions for me feel free to ask and I will answer them as openly and honestly as I can.

Doc and I shampooed the carpets and I went over the living room 4 times and the 4th time over the water was just as brown as the first, it really pisses me off the the "friend" we rented this house from lied to my face about prepping it for rent.

That's pretty much it, I am hoping that the full moon will get the ball rolling and get this kid out of me :)

progress on a few fronts

I am a convert, we've tried choke collars, pinch collars, praise, punishment but no matter what Moses was a puller. I took him on a walk on my own a few months ago but it left my back a mess for almost a week. We've been talking about a shock collar for him but they are over $100 which is way more than I like to spend. Yesterday we picked up a Gentle Leader, I tried this once before when he was younger with no luck but I am sure it was me using it wrong. Now the collar comes with a DVD so I was sure to get it right. I'm not going to lie, he wasn't a fan of the collar across his snout but I was able to control the leash and I did not feel like he was pulling me once. It's such a good feeling, before I was pregnant I was able to get control over him but as I got bigger it just got harder and the thought of walking him with a stroller was terrifying. Now I know that we three, TC, Moses and I will be able to go out and walk while Doc is away.

Next front, I was unable to do the 4 mile walk we did the other day, I was having too many contractions and was way too crampy so we only made it about 2. I've been having the cramps and random contractions more so today than yesterday so I am praying that means my body is getting ready.

And the final front, Doc. He finally wanted to get the rug Dr to clean the carpets! He really hasn't been much help around the house. Getting him to put his dishes in the dishwasher has always been a fight as is him putting the recycling in the in house bin and not on the counter (which is directly above the bin!) has never happened. I've had to nag him to help sweep, pick up his clothes, and other things a grown man should do but he does not. His view on it is that it doesn't bother him if things are messy so he's not going to concern himself with it. It's been a point of contention since we moved in together. Wow major tangent but I'm back...I told him I didn't want to get the Rug Dr because I didn't feel up to using it. He responded with "I thought I was going to do that, I really wanted to help." So tomorrow he's going to get started bright and early (and we already spent $50 on the rental so there is no turning back).

awards

I've been chosen for an award from 2 wonderful readers over the past few weeks.

This was from Teri over at 3000 Miles in Love and the wonderful army wife over at Sandy Boots and Sparkling Stilettos

The rules for this blog award are as follows:

1. To accept the award, you must post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted you the award, and a link to their blog.

2. Pass the award on to approximately 15 other blogs that you recently discovered, and think are great!

3. Contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

OK I am going to break the rules, I love all the blogs on my reading list so I am not going to just pick 15. I admit that I haven't had a chance check out all of my newest followers but I will very soon and I think all my other followers should do the same. I really appreciate all the comments and support and I can't wait to show off my baby girl to all of you (if she ever comes out).

feeling down

I know I still have a week but it seems like I am never going to have this baby! I had an appointment today and I am still at 3cm but I'm 90% effaced so that's something. My new doctor is really nice and will be there for the delivery which is good to know. We were able to go over my wants and don't wants if that day every comes. One thing that I don't like about him is it seems that he has incredible hulk hands! Holy hell did it hurt when he was checking me!

I could just cry right now, I was really hoping for some more news. Think she'll come out if I tell her I'll buy her a pony?

nothing new

Doc and I have been going out walking all weekend and she's low, I can tell you that but the contractions come and go. Sex to get things started is not going to happen, he's just weird about it and who am I to say anything, it is a little weird (epically since he could feel her head if he wanted to).

I ordered my pump, got the Lansinoh Double Electric Breast Pump, for what I plan on using it for it should be perfect and I got a lot of good reviews from moms. I stood in the bottle section of BRU staring at all the choices for a good 10 minutes, I have no idea if I got good bottles or not, Dr. Brow - anyone have any opinions? Or if there are others that I should have picked? They are still in the box so I can still return them.

Oh I did find out that there is NO WIFI in the hospital! Must be the last hospital without it. But I am hoping to update before I go in, if not here on Facebook then maybe my BFF/wonder mom Amanda can hope on here and post an update. I know I am getting ahead of myself, I wont even be 39 weeks until Tuesday...

appointment today

My original OB is gone, I'm totally bummed because he was so fun and had a lot of respect for what Doc does (he even tried to join his unit at one point). But what can you do, he's off to Alaska so that someone still in uniform isn't sent - see he's a cool guy. I saw a woman today that I saw months ago, she's super sweet but doesn't do deliveries so who knows who I'll see when I get upstairs.

Oh and I gained less than a pound this week!!!!!

Here's where I talk about my lady parts, may be TMI to some.

I am 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. I had some major contractions yesterday while Doc and I were shopping but they stopped when I got home. I've been having them again today and the doctor said she doesn't think I'll make it to next week! She stripped my membranes which was as unpleasant as I expected but may have gotten things going, lets just say I had to toss my panties when I got home.

I'm going to hit the elliptical soon to get everything going as well. I really hope this is the weekend but I'm not going to lie I am scared to death about being responsible for a newborn.

still here, still knocked up

I know I shouldn't expect to go early but I really really want to. I've had some pretty strong but sporadic contractions but no cause for concern. I have an appointment on Friday and hopefully she'll tell me that we are getting close. (My normal doctor is TDY...sad.) Here at the house we are almost ready, I need Doc to clean the carpets and I need to finish some laundry and we will be ready.

It's been great having Doc home, still getting used to sharing the bed but other than that it's good. I am so tired all the time so it's wonderful to have help with the critters. He needs to get a MRI soon because of an incident overseas, they want to evacuate him to have it done but he wouldn't have it. He should be OK just some (OK a lot) of neck and back pain and he had another concision. This brings his lifetime concision total in the double digits (he was a hockey player). I am worried about a TBI (traumatic brain injury) because after hearing stories from my wounded warrior wife friends those can be life altering. I haven't seen any change in him so far so that's a good sign. No matter what it is he has to get it documented, it a good lesson for any reader who are new to this life, if you soldier is hurt in training or overseas GET IT DOCUMENTED, I can't stress that enough. Anyway, he should be OK but it's pretty stressful, worst case he could be laid up while I really need his help with the baby. But he's OK, his buddies are OK and that is really all I care about.

loving it

Doc is home! It was weird to pick him up at the airport and not on post, he doesn't travel in uniform so he kind of blended in but then I saw him. He gets this smile...it's like he wants to smile so big but he fights it and does a half smile before looking at the floor.

"Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile and you use it only for me."

Of course I teared up and gave him a big hug and quick kiss. This deployment was super short but so hard for me. Having him home is amazing. He had a hard time getting over how big I've gotten. This is the day he left compared to a few days before he returned:

Right now he's playing xBox hockey with all his online friends. I will wait until tomorrow to get him started on my list for him:

• take down Christmas tree
• rake front yard
• remove huge branch from back yard
• rearrange the bed room to better fit the pack & Play
• get my suitcase down from the garage so I can pack my bag (I think he will do this one today)
• shampoo the carpets
• help me get this baby out ;)
  

tick tock

I'm sitting at work, I've finished everything I need to do and I am just counting down the seconds. I decided I am leaving at 3:30 so I can go get a pedi - my feet are killing me and I think I've earned it. What's on tap for after the pedi you ask? Just a little thing called picking up my husband at the airport!!! (He's flying commercial as a civilian so don't worry - I've got OPSEC under control.)

I am so flippen excited! My original plan was to meet him at the gate but I don't want to deal with going through security so I will just meet him at the baggage claim. He's been gone for about 6 weeks and it's been such a short but nerve wracking deployment. I wish his entire unit was coming home but I know they still have a job to do.

I can't believe he's coming home and the house is a mess, this has never happened before, not even from TDY. It's not that it's a mess but it's not particularly clean, there are hair balls in the sun room and the bed rooms could use a vacuum but the best part is that I don't really care.

Thanks again for all the encouragement after my post last night. I am trying not to think about it. I am giving birth to a healthy baby and that is what is the most important thing to us.

non update

Got back from the Dr and unfortunately they would not strip my membranes until 38 weeks, total bummer. Other than that he confirmed what I already knew, this is going to be a big baby, he would guess a specific size just that she's going to be big. In related news, I gained 5lbs in 10 days!! WTF! Tomorrow is my last day of work so next week while I am home I am going to get at least 30 minutes on the elliptical in a day, I don't care if it's 5 minutes at a time. My weight gain is at 35lbs and I don't want it to get much higher.

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed as I was driving home and even fought back some tears. I don't want to have a big baby, I want a little (not too little - I'm not crazy) but a smaller one. That plus the fact that I ate like a cow last week, which I really did and I'm not proud of it. I will get over it and this will all be a memory soon.

Thanks for all the comments on the layout, I like it too. I thought my last one was a little too party girl for me but got lazy and never changed it. And thanks for all the boob advice the other day, breastfeeding is going to be such a challenge and it's nice to know I've got so much support.

Funny side note, I used the expectant mother parking to go to the Class Six and walked out with a 14 year old bottle of scotch. Class act!

A few changes

I got bored with the old layout and the blue background made it a bit hard to read so while I was passing time at work yesterday I made this one, I might make a few more changes but we'll see. I am glad I caught the typo in the header last night :).

This afternoon I have my appointment and I am going to get my membranes stripped - I'm scared about that, I hope it doesn't hurt as bad is it sounds like it will. I just want to do whatever I have to do to have this baby, I could be pregnant for another month!! They don't induce until 41 weeks and while an induction is not my idea of a good time being pregnant longer than I need to isn't either.

That's it, if anything exciting goes on at the appointment I will be sure to update later but I am sure it will be as uneventful as the last 20 appointments.

almost there

Doc's having mixed emotions about it coming home, it's very strange to him to be leaving his guys in the hands of another medic. I am not sure who is replacing him but I'm sure he's capable but that's not the point. Before he left I made it clear that if he felt wasn't sure about his replacement I would not be mad at him for staying the entire deployment. TC and I will be just fine and him being here isn't a matter of life and death. When I spoke with him he said this guy is good "but he's not me" but hopefully the rest of their time over there will be uneventful and it wont matter who the medic is.

As for work, I've got almost everything I needed to finish done. My to-do list has one thing left on it which I am saving for tomorrow so I have something to do before my appointment. Friday I will finish cleaning out my desk and computer (I have to remember to clear out my passwords, bookmarks, clear cookies/history, and defrag) not that I do anything bad I just get a little paranoid that someone will hack into my facebook or blog or something.

In baby news all is good, I am officially HUGE. Last night I woke up to pee and stood up to such bad back pain on my left side that I almost fell over. When I got back to bed I decided to take the weight off my left and flip to my right side only to find that made my lefts hand go numb so she must have been on some nerve because it's usually the arm you're laying on that goes numb! Today I am having a hard time breathing and my heart rate is still around 105. Only a few more weeks of this thank God. Hopefully I will get the all clear to work out shortly after the birth and will have the energy to do so. While Doc's on rear D I want to use that as a chance to really kick start my transformation into my old self. I want to feel as hot as I did the day I wore this dress:

home stretch!

I am so glad this is my last Monday at work! It's been kind of hell, going on no sleep and feeling like I can't eat or drink because it makes me want to throw up, I must be having the world's longest baby. Should be an easy week though, I have a lot of stuff done and I have decided to no longer stress about what goes unfinished, I'm not having the baby right away so if anyone has questions they can call me.

Doc just called again and was so sweet, he took a flag with him on a mission and decided that we should save it for TC to have when she's older. How cute is that? He also told me some travel plans, more updated than what he had on Sunday and I can't wait!

Other than that I've started to get my Aflac paperwork ready for my hospital stay and disability and this weekend I will file for unemployment - only working 4 days a week for most of 2009 is really going to kill my unemployment claim, I guess it's just one last kick in the ass from this company. So crazy to think that I am leaving the working world to join the diaper bag mafia - I just hope I'm good at it.

don't usually like waking up at 8 on Sunday...

But when a call from Doc is what wakes me up I'll wake up at anytime. Finally I have an idea when he's coming home, I will be alone at my next appointment but I am going to take the gamble and have my membranes stripped. The other good news is that he got pinned! He said he was taking a nap and heard people banging on doors for formation and he was afraid someone was hurt but he got out there and it was his promotion ceremony. I am bummed that no one took pictures but that's not really his style anyway. His squad leader (I think...whatever they call the E7 who runs the show) told everyone that in his 12 years with this unit Doc is the best medic he's ever worked with. I am just so proud of him, I wish I could have been there.

He was also really cute, "you need to get one of those pump things" ummmm a breast pump? I really want to exclusively breast feed at first but he really wants to be able to feed her and since he is most likely leaving when she's a month to 2 months old I think it's only fair that he is able to actively participate in things like that. I just hope there isn't any nipple confusion, I will be devastated if she can't go from bottle to boob.

OK that's it, but I thought I would leave you with a picture, the other day I told you about my sausage fingers, I had no idea the swelling would hurt my knuckles but it really does. Here look at my fat hands - thank God I took my real rings off when I did because here is not way they would come back over my knuckles. (Will they go back down?)

Paging Professor Klump!

swollen

A year ago today I had my wisdom teeth pulled (click that link for a wonderful post op pic) and my face was swollen for about 3 weeks. I had them done because Doc was about to leave on deployment and I knew I wanted them out before I got pregnant. After hearing some horror stories of pregnancy induced wisdom tooth pain I am glad I did.

This year I am swollen for other reasons. My fingers have gone from a size 5 to a size 7! You can't even tell I have knuckles. I can't tell if my feet are swollen because of the fugly shoes I wear every day but I am happy to say I still have skinny ankles! I will hold onto the little things in life :).

Not too much really going on here, the Internet was out all morning at work so I was able to clean out my desk of all the junk that had been clogging it up. I would hate for whoever sits here next to inherit the mess that I did. Most people don't know that I am not coming back after 12 weeks and I feel bad telling them but it's not my place since I'm technically being let go but I do get giddy when telling people that next Friday is most likely my last day before I have the baby. I can't decide what I am more excited for, not working or not having to wear tights everyday.

doing better

I finally heard from Doc last night, glad to know that he's not trying to do a "Surprise I'm home" type of thing. As I suspected, he's been busy so it's not really a big deal. I also talked to his buddy's wife today and she didn't get a call last night and she was getting just as frustrated as I was so I am not crazy! Doc just wanted to check on me and let me know that his promotion may have finally been taken care of. Someone else is taking over and really pushing for a back date of Dec 1st. So I really hope it happens.

I told him about my appointment on Monday and he told me to suck it up and drink more water. He's a sweetie isn't he? I totally forgot all the stuff I wanted to talk to him about which is typical, I still don't know if he knows about Wes Welker and what it all means for the Patriots playoffs (yes the important stuff). He didn't have information on his flight home but it looks like he it will be later than we anticipated (thanks for the tip Erin, if the next time he calls he doesn't have any info I will call my FRG leader). He said he would call when he can, I said "soon?" he said "we'll see."

As for me, I am flying through my to-do list at work. With no idea who will be taking over my responsibilities I am just making a lot of tutorial pages which I super annoying. I also have a list of things need to be handled every day and no idea who is going to be doing it. I am stressed out about it because I really don't want it to look like I am leaving them in a bind but they've had 7 months notice on this stuff so I am trying to not let it get to me. I fill out a weekly report each week and this week I am reiterating that I most likely will not work up to my due date, I am thinking 2 more weeks TOPS so they need to get on the ball.

So that's it from Amber Land, I have dialed back the crazy a few notches which is always a good thing!

i hate bad news

I am still willing my phone to ring with no luck. I know he is just busy and I know that picking up the phone to call is not that easy, this is not my first time on this ride. I am doing my best to keep the rational part of my brain in charge. The irrational part of my brain is pissed off. What he couldn't give up 2 minutes of sleep to call and check in on his 9 month pregnant wife?

I really just want to know when he's coming home! When he gets home I have to break some bad news to him and I know it's going to kill him. Over the past few years his father has been making great strides towards sobriety, he was even taking classes to get a new career started. We were so proud of him and excited for him to visit after the baby comes.

About a month ago my SIL told me that he had fallen off the wagon and fallen hard. She has always been by his side and had so much faith in him and even she has cut him out of her life. having lost my dad it breaks my heart when someone has one and isn't close to him but having an alcoholic mother makes me understand why he just can't be part of Doc's life.

I really can't stand it, he had so much going for him if he kept on, he's still young - late 40s and has 2 new granddaughters on the way (SIL is due in May) and he's lost it all. I am going to have to tell Doc before he calls home (his dad lives with his grandparents) because the chances of FIL answering the phone plastered are always high. Thank God he had already go out on Christmas when Doc called, apparently Christmas eve at the house could only be described as a shit show.

I know exactly what he will say too, he will say it was just a matter of time and he's gone this long without his father so he doesn't need him. But inside he's going to be so disappointed and heart broken. I just wish he would talk to me about it but I understand, I'm in the same place with my mother.

Luckily there will a lot to celebrate after he's home so hopefully we can focus on what we have and not what we don't.

coming to an end

I am at work right now wondering how many more days I will be sitting at this computer. I am going to ask my doctor to recommend that I stop working next week, or maybe the week after. I am just sooooo tired and uncomfortable. Thank you for the water suggestions, I am doing my best. I have had several glasses today, I haven't been counting though. I took my pulse this morning and I was still around 98.

My real concern is that I haven't heard from Doc in a few days which is really not normal. He should be coming home soon and I have no idea when and I have no idea what the process will be. Usually when he's on his way we get location and ETA updates from the FRG but since he's coming early I have no idea. Since I haven't heard from him there is a small voice in the back of my head saying "he's on his way home." He's not the type to surprise me and I am not the type to like surprises so as much as I want him to show up at the house I would like a little notice.

I got in trouble

Have you ever had the nurse give you a double take when looking at your vitals? It's a bit disconcerting. As always my BP was good but my heart rate was 140! I really didn't feel well this morning, I was pretty weak and nauseous and I attributed that to only getting 4 hours of sleep.

After my appointment, which went well TC is now head down are preparing for takeoff, I had to sit in the waiting room for an hour and drink as much water as possible. I managed to get 4 solo cups down and told the nurse that I was done - if I had any more I would be sick. She took my vitals again and I was down to 98...still high but acceptable. They are running some labs to be sure everything else is OK.

I do my best to drink as much as possible but it's so hard! There is just no room in there for excess liquid, that plus all that peeing! Looks like I need to step it up, when Doc gets home I can just make him give me IVs.

My next appointment is in 10 days, hopefully I can wow them with a stellar heart rate.

end of a decade & my 20s

I turn a 30 this year and I am so excited about it. This is going to be an amazing year, becoming a mom and really making a decision about my career future (if I even want one). I thought it would be fun to start off this year by looking back at just how much growing up I've done in my 20s.

2000 - 20

my original crew

2001 - 21

Halloween 2001

2002 - 22

we made up a dance

2003 - 23

post corn rows hair - yikes

2004 - 24

Nashville

2005 - 25

first Sox game together - possibly our first photo together

2006 - 26

moving to NC

2007 -27
moving to WA

2008 - 28
first post-deployment hug

2009 - 29
it's amazing what 10 years can do!